Soldiers of Destiny
by mordenaj
Summary: Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.
1. Comatose

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG for now_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Shal for beta and Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

"ANGEL get your manpire ass back here!" screamed a very upset Cordelia Chase. No matter how much she loved the vampire he was not going to get away with always protecting her, always pushing her to the side when a there was a battle. Always trying to shield her from his dark world the world he thought he deserved to be in alone. She was part of that dark world and had been for a very long time even before they had become friends, Cordy only started to realize it when she had met the slayer but living in Sunnydale was the darkest place you could be.

"What is it Cordy," answered a weary Angel. The vampire knew he was in for one of Cordelia's famous tongue-lashings that which only he seemed to be on the receiving end. Angel could almost imagine steam coming out of Cordy's ears but his thoughts were interrupted as the brunette marched right up to him stood on her tippy toes and looked him straight in the eyes. Her hazel eyes were on fire reflecting the anger she felt at the moment.

"Don't what me Angel you know very well what you did," snapped the ex-cheerleader trying to stay angry with her champion as she got lost in the pools of brown liquid that were his eyes. "You promised Angel! You promised that you would quit protecting me all the time and let me fight, that's why I asked you to train me, so that you wouldn't have to protect me all the time," finished the seer temper fading. She wanted to fight at his side and to feel useful; she wanted to be able to bring more to the team than just the visions. She wanted to be close to her champion, her Angel.

"But Cordy," started Angel a smile appearing on his handsome face. He knew that he promised her but the vampire couldn't help himself every time he saw her in trouble he stopped thinking and instinctively went to rescue her. He couldn't stand the thought of Cordy being hurt. After all he had to watch her in pain when the visions were harmful. Thankfully that was not a worry anymore and his protectiveness was worse now after the incidents with Billy and then on her birthday he realized that he had been so close to losing her and there of course was no way he was going to see her hurt if he could prevent it. Cordy's pain was his pain and he wouldn't let that happen. If he could make her pain his and let her have peace and happiness he would be willing to do that as well, but unfortunately he couldn't.

"Don't but me mister broody," quipped Cordy as she cut the vampire off. Her heart started to race as the smile appeared on Angels face that smile made an already handsome man look simply mind numbing and breathtaking. Trying to finish her rant before she lost the ability to speak Cordy continued, "you promised me that you'd let me fight with you but not only did you push me out of the way you ruined my brand new shirt. Angel you have to trust me please."

"I'll buy you a new shirt," said Angel relieved that his Cordy was still in there even though she was in a temper; perhaps more so.

"That's not the point Angel you promised me and I believed you would keep your word," replied the ex-may queen, her anger slowly fading from her voice as she continued her rant. Cordelia was tired and worn out maybe he didn't believe that she could protect herself, maybe she was just a hindrance in battle, maybe he didn't want her there with him.

"I'm sorry its just I don't want you getting hurt I worry," the vampire said with genuine earnest. Angel didn't want anything to happen to his seer his Cordy she meant too much to him. Angel didn't even want to remember what life was like without Cordelia in it. But he did notice the sadness that crossed her face; he frowned ever so slightly wondering what she was thinking about to give her that look. He wanted to chase it away and just give her happiness even if he wasn't allowed to have any.

"I know Angel it's just I don't want you worrying about me all the time I'm a big girl I can take care of myself," Cordy said with love knowing that Angel meant every word. It was satisfying to know that her best friend would always be there for her no matter what she could always tell Angel whatever was on her mind, even if he didn't want to hear it. Cordelia forced the sad thoughts from her mind and just focused on the man in front of her. Sure to everyone else Angel is a vampire with a soul a white knight who saves innocents from the demons of the world but not to her. To her Angel is her best friend someone she can always turn to. To Cordelia he was simply Angel, a gorgeous hunk of salty goodness even with the lack of a tan.

"I know I know I'll try and be better okay," answered Angel slightly amused as he turned and continued up the street toward the Hyperion knowing that Cordelia would follow and continue her rant at his expense. But he didn't mind he saw the smile come back on to her face and that was all that mattered, so she could rant all she wanted. Her smile was what brought light to his darkness it chased away his shadows.

"Angel what's happening?" questioned Cordy as her body started to glow she could feel the power flowing through her but something was wrong. She was learning how to control her newfound powers but somehow this was different it was surging out of control. Fear covered her face; she reached out a hand towards Angel. "Help me?" She cried.

"Cordy what's wrong," asked the vampire with worry evident in his voice as he turned around and looked at his brunette beauty. Something was wrong he's seen Cordy's demon powers more than once but she was scared actually it was more like terrified he could smell the fear pouring off her in waves. He saw her handing reaching towards him; Angel knew that she was asking for his help her proud exterior fading in the process.

Angel rushed to Cordys side using his vampire speed knowing she was about to pass out he could hear the rapid slowing of the heartbeat that comes just before unconsciousness; knew that part well having caused it so many times in his long supernatural life. That thought brought across a feeling of guilt that he quickly chased away. Unfortunately it was suddenly replaced by concern as Cordy passed out in his arms the light in her hazel eyes fading as she gave way to unconsciousness.

Angel laid Cordy gently on the ground and tried to wake her up fear slowly creeping up on him when she refused to stir. The systematic breathing of a sleeping person calmed him a little since he knew she was still alive but the fear was still there and slowly growing out of control. Not knowing the reason why she passed out or how to wake her up was making him crazy.

Angel put a lid on his worry and fear and slowly picked Cordy up and rushed the rest of the way to the Hyperion carrying an unconscious Cordelia. Angel knew he was going to need the help of his family to get through this. He could always count on his family in a crisis.

Angel burst through the doors of the Hyperion hotel carrying an unconscious Cordelia in his arms. Rushing her to the sofa in the lobby. Angel screamed for Fred or Gunn as he set his beautiful seer on the sofa. Fear rushed through his body and panic filled his mind; he was so afraid that he was going to lose this woman who barged into his world and taught him how to live. He was lost not knowing what to do. He needed his family, his friends.

"What is it Angel," mumbled Fred as she sleepily walked down the stairs toward the lobby muttering about being woken up by broody vampires. It had better be another disaster; Fred was amazed how she was so used to that now that it did not terrify her. Catching a glimpse of Cordy on the sofa Fred's eyes lit up in panic as she rushed the rest the way to Cordy's side. She was now wide-awake and afraid. Cordy had become the sister she had always wanted.

"Is she," stuttered Fred wanting to ask if Cordy was dead but not being able to form the words. They couldn't lose her she wouldn't allow it, none of them would. "No just unconscious," Angel quietly replied never taking his eyes off Cordelia. The vampire was afraid if he looked away that she would just disappear.

"Where's Gunn," Angel asked, distruaght. They needed him.

"Not here," replied Fred her eyes still locked on Cordelia. Cordy was the one who took care of them all; she wasn't sure what to do.

"Get him here now," demanded Angel as he stalked towards his office. He had to think, he had to come up with some ideas to save her, and he needed Cordelia.

As Fred started towards the phone on Cordelia's desk she couldn't help but notice how on edge Angel was. She saw how he kept glancing at his seer's unmoving body. Fred could see the worry in his movements and the fear in his deep brown eyes. Fear that she might not wake up. That thought along sent shivers through her tiny body. She wanted to grab Cordy and scream at her to wake up. Fred wanted to tell Cordy that Angel needed her, that they needed her and she couldn't leave them.

As Angel paced back and forth through his office trying to figure what happened one minute they're having one of their daily arguments the next she's falling into his arms unconscious. Angel couldn't remember what it was like to not have his bluntly honest, darkly beautiful seer here to keep him on his toes. With that thought Angel went to go find Fred.

"Fred is he on his way," asked Angel.

"Yes," the brunette answered in a solemn voice.

"Good will you call Lorne and have him bring Connor home." Angel's thoughts were running wild he needed everyone here to help find out what was wrong with Cordelia and he just needed to see his son, to know that he was safe.

"Sure no problem," with that she turned to the phone.

As Fred made the call Angel went and sat next to his seer, his Cordy. As Angel sat there he couldn't help but think about how Cordelia meant to him how much he needed her there. Angel knew he was in love with Cordelia and has been for a long time but he never thought of how much Cordy truly meant to him and for the first time in his 250-year life Angel was truly terrified. Terrified at the thought that he might lose the women who meant more to him than he thought possible terrified that his son would grow up without the women he considered his mother.

As thoughts raced through his mind, he came to the realization that this coma was not physical in nature no one with Cordy's abilities would just drop like that especially not Cordelia Chase she wouldn't allow it. With this new knowledge Angel realized that he was going to need help in the mystical department and he only knew one expert in that department.

"Fred," asked Angel

"What is it Angel," replied the petite Texan

"Can you do me a favor," the vampire asked.

"Name it," she said staring at him intently wondering what he needed her for.

"Call Wesley I think we're gonna need his help," Angel said to her slowly mentally preparing himself for the reaction he knew was coming.

"Sure not a probl…. WHAT!" stuttered Fred in shock?

"We need him Fred this sickness is mystical and Wes is the only expert I know," replied Angel to the shocked physicist.

"Are you sure about this Angel I mean the last time you saw him you…. you nearly killed him," stammered Fred.

"I will talk with him when he gets here but we need his help. I won't lose her Fred I can't lose her," Angel responded as he slowly walked toward his office never feeling more lost or helpless than he did at this very moment. Terrified that Cordy was leaving him and he did not know what to do.

Fred knew Angel was in love with Cordy just as she knew Cordy felt the same way. She also knew that if Cordy didn't wake up some part of Angel's soul would die. Without Cordelia the light that he started to show lately would disappear. She wasn't about to let that happen to her savior even if it means she has to drag Wes and god knows whom else into this hotel to do it. Cordy will wake up if Winifred Burkle has anything to say about. With that thought Fred made her way to the phone and got ready to pull some Burkle charm on Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, whether he liked it or not.


	2. Moving on

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

Thoughts were creating havoc in Wesley's mind as he made his way up the path to the doors of the Hyperion Hotel. What could have happened that would cause Angel to break down and ask for his help? He knew it involved Cordy, no Cordelia, she had told him last time that they talked she made it quite clear they were no longer friends, family. At that thought Wesley's mood darkened a little bit he was not looking forward to his conversation with Angel. But his help was needed and he knew what he had done and what they thought of him but they were still his family and he would do whatever he could to help with whatever the matter was.

As Wes approached the door of the hotel he could see the Angel Investigations family grouped around one of its most loved members. Wesley's heart sank at this sight knowing he was no longer a part of that group, but still wishing that he were there, still apart of them, being able to share the pain and fear with each other, being able lean on each other, giving each other the strength that would be needed to get through anything as long as they were together. He knew he hurt his family when he kidnapped Connor but he had is reasons sure the prophecy was a sham but he didn't know that at the time he thought he was saving Connor. The ex-watcher knew that he would have done the same thing, if any member of his family were in trouble he would do what he could to save them no matter what it cost. Wes knew Fred and Gunn were willing to forgive him but those two were not the ones that he had truly hurt. Angel and Cordelia were the ones he truly hurt deeply the ones that had meant the most to him were the ones he truly betrayed. They had been together for so long he was there and did what he could after the death of their friend Doyle, he became the third member of the family and they all changed and grew with each other. With these final thoughts Wesley braced himself and entered the Hyperion.

Angel stood up as he watched Wesley enter through the doors of the hotel resisting the urge to rush up and strangle the man that kidnapped his son to watch him suffer just as the vampire did. The man who he once trusted had taken his future and torn the family apart. He made his way toward the office gesturing Wesley to follow, Angel knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation but if it got his Cordy back he was willing to move past this, he was willing to give Wes another chance. He was willing to do whatever he had to if that meant Cordy would be back with them. Sometimes the vampire wondered if being a champion meant fighting demons or being willing to move past unforgivable offenses he was about to find out. His mind screamed out that these people had forgiven him for what he had done and now he began to realize what it had cost them to do that and how much respect and love he had for them because of it.

"Wesley," Angel said softly trying to suppress his anger.

"Angel….I'm sor," Wesley started

"Don't you dare Wesley don't you dare try and apologize for what you did," Snapped the vampire as he slammed his hand on the desk in rage, it shook and bits of wood fractured from where his fist had smashed onto the wood. "You kidnapped my son you betrayed my trust. What you did is not something I can forgive you for, so don't ask and don't apologize. I need your help that's the only reason you're here the only reason I'm willing to give you chance. You'll have to earn my trust back Wesley and it's not gonna be easy!" Screamed Angel as he took a deep breath, even though he didn't need to, it was for him to relax. "Look Wesley we've all done things that are unforgivable and gotten a second chance this is yours I got my son back so in my mind were good," said Angel more calmly now that he'd vented his frustrations. He just needed to tell Wes what he felt. "So are we good," asked the vampire staring at the ex-watcher trying to judge what the other man was thinking and wondering if he was still going to help them. Angel had no idea if he would trust the Englishman as much as he used to, he wanted to, he wanted his family back but everytime he looked at Wes he saw betrayal and that was the hardest thing to get past. After all he should having gone through the experience himself.

"We're good," replied the ex-watcher he watched the vampire closely and could see what it was costing him. Wes had changed a lot it was now a case of getting to know each other again and hopefully the trust would come from there and they would have a new and better relationship then before. Like the one that he watched grow between Angel and Cordelia somehow Angels betrayal in the Darla incident made Angel and Cordelias relationship stronger than it had ever been.

"Then lets get to work then. I want her back Wesley I need her back," Angel said as he impatiently marched out of the office and toward Cordelia's unconscious body.

Fred and Gunn sat in hotel lobby cautiously wondering if they interfere with the one sided argument going on in the office. The Texan twisted her hands in her lap she was getting more and more nervous and when she was like this Cordy always noticed and tried to put her at ease. Gunn stared making holes in the door; he could see both points of view and he didn't know what he would have done in Wes's place. But they knew better, this was between Angel and Wesley they needed to learn to work together if anything was going to happen.

"Ohhh Fredicans you think you can watch this little bundle of joy for me as much as I love the little guy I still have things to do," Lorne said gleefully as he pounced down the stairs interrupting Fred and Gunn's inner struggle.

"Ahhh Lorne," screeched Fred unaware of the demons approach as she sprung from the sofa.

"Fred dear would you please take Connor for me I have a client to see," asked Lorne again getting a little edgy he hated to keep clients waiting. Especially since this client could help with Cordy this families heart.

"Oh yeah sure Lorne sorry you scared me;" replied the still dazed brunette as she took Connor out of his hands.

"So how are the fireworks coming along," inquired Lorne as he nodded toward the office wondering if he was going to need a fire extinguisher to put out the flaming auras he could see?

"Oh you know vamp boy screaming and English standing there taking it like a champ I think he tried to apologize," replied Gunn nonchalantly no longer worried about what was going on in the office as his attention was placed upon Connor.

Lorne could see Angel wrapping up his tirade with Wesley so he decided that with Fred and Gunn fussing over a Connor now would be the best time for him to sneak out unnoticed he had some contacts to talk to tonight. This family needs their princess and this musically inclined aura reading green demon knew just the person to talk to.

As Angel crossed the lobby to his beautiful stubborn seer he saw Lorne trying to sneak out the doors Angel just let him be knowing Lorne he was out to find some of his contacts. If anyone knew someone mystical to help them it was the host. Before Angel made it to Cordy's prone body he stopped and gave Connor a little nudge and a smile he got a cheerful giggle in return.

"I'm gonna move her upstairs to my bed she'll kill me if she wakes up with a sore neck," said the vampire sadness evident in his voice as he gently picked up and cradled Cordy's body like she was the most precious item on earth, because to him she was. With that Angel gradually made his way up the stairs followed by the eyes of his family and the footsteps of a rogue demon hunter.

Wesley followed Angel upstairs to his unconscious friend the girl who he once had a fascination for, to the woman who became his family, his confidant, his sister. "You need to tell me what happened?"

As Angel finished explaining the events that led up to Cordelia's unconsciousness Wesley's mind was already processing the information as he already had a notion of what happened. With that in mind Wesley set to explain to Angel what he had in mind even though he wouldn't be positive until he checked his books.

"Angel from what you've told and what I've gathered on my I own I can only speculate Cordelia's current condition is from a surge in her demonic power and it somehow formed a block on her mind," said the former watcher.

"Huh," replied Angel with a blank look on his face and bafflement in his voice.

"Well I've been researching Cordy's dem," started Wesley using the name Cordelia guarded well the name she tells to only those she trusts, to those she considers friends.

"Its Cordelia Wesley until she says otherwise its Cordelia," cut in the vampire knowing full well that it would hurt Wesley but it was not his right to choose Cordelias friends.

"Right sorry Cordelia," answered Wesley with sorrow in his voice. "As I was saying I've been researching Cordelia's demon powers since her birthday," continued the rogue demon hunter sadness and hurt still reflected in his voice.

"You have," asked Angel curiosity getting the better of him.

"Yes levitation is a high ranking demon power not to mention that purification power she has as well. I also remember you once telling me that Doyle was half demon and the visions still gave him splitting headaches. Cordelia no longer gets headaches from the visions so it's my guess that the powers that be gave her some serious power," preached Wesley, worry present in his voice as he stared Cordelia's unconscious body.

"We already knew that Wesley so what's your theory," inquired Angel knowing full well Wesley would drone on forever if he didn't press the point.

"Yes well my hypothesis is there was a surge in her demon powers. Angel as you know Cordelia was human for 21 years before she got her demon abilities so it's my guess that her demon side is playing catch up with her human side trying to find a balance. She wasn't prepared for the surge so she passed out causing some sort of block to form. I also have an idea on how to get her back." Said Wesley his energy and hope picking up as he continually sorted out Cordelia's condition in his mind he knew he could get her back he just didn't know how Angel would react to his solution.

"Just do it Wesley and no buts I've gone to a different dimension to save her I've even broken someone out of hell for her so I'll handle whatever you throw at me when it gets here just get it done," snapped the vampire giving Wesley no room to argue he needed his Cordy back. He would pay any price to see her smile again; her smile was his sun it chased away the darkness within him. With that Angel gave Wesley a look that meant a thousand words a look that said he wanted to be alone that he needed to be alone.

As Wesley stood outside Angels room contemplating on how to tell Angel what needed to be done to get Cordelia back he heard the vampire start talking.

"Why Cordy? Why do you always do this to me? Don't you know how much I need you how much I love you? No of course you don't. You think I still yearn for Buffy but you're wrong. I don't know when it happened exactly but I realized one day that Buffy was no longer in my heart at least not in the capacity of love. She will always be there I need you to know that okay she taught me that it was ok for me to love again. I will always be grateful for what happened between Buffy and me because that path led me to you. Yes, that's right you I don't when it happened exactly I remember when you first started working for me we really weren't that close we'd bicker and argue and then you would go home and I would hide in my corner and brood. I think when Doyle died and you got the visions is when we started to change we only had each other I know Wes was there but he didn't know Doyle I tried to keep it bottled up but you wouldn't let me you made me talk about it made me open up. And then with the Vocah incident I realized I liked having you around that I needed you around at least that's what I thought and then Darla came along and I pushed you all out of my life pushed away your light and went back to my dark world. But we somehow got through that and we became closer because of it. It was just another hurdle in our friendship. Our friendship now that's funny who would of thought me a vampire with a soul would become friends, no not friends, best friends with one Cordelia Chase the bitch queen of Sunnydale. I know that's not who you really are you were just wearing a mask in Sunnydale protecting yourself not wanting to get hurt afraid to let people get close. You've changed since then you've removed that mask you let people see the real you that inner light that radiates my dark world the light that chases away the shadows of my past. And somehow during this time you walked into my world and my heart, you taught me how to live, you broke down my walls and showed me that it was okay to go out in the world. You accepted me for me, you know about the vampire but that's not who you see you see me Angel, the whole package. No one else sees me like that Cordy not even Fred and Gunn they accept who I am and love me but they still see the demon but you see so much more, you know about the demon but you see the man that the demon is part of. God Cordy I love you so much we've been through so much together you're the mother of my child I know I've never told you that but its true I've seen the way you treat him as if he were your own the love you have for him. He needs his mother, he needs you, I need you," said Angel no longer able to the tears from flowing from his deep brown eyes as he laid his head on Cordelia's stomach unaware of Wesley's presence outside the door.

Wesley stood outside Angel's door in complete awe at the words he just heard the vampire say he knew they were close and had been through a lot but he never truly thought on how much Cordelia and Angel have been through together how much they've seen until he heard those words. Somehow through all the challenges thrown at them obstacles that would normally drive best friends apart had somehow managed to make their friendship their bond virtually unbreakable a bond of trust so thick nothing could break it mystical or otherwise. As Wesley began to relive his memories of Angel and Cordelia he saw how they reacted to one another how they knew each other inside out how they could sense each others pain when no one else could see it and it dawned on him that they are incomplete without each other that they are two halves of a whole she's the light to his darkness that Angel can't be Angel if Cordelia is not there and vice versa. For the first time in his life he finally saw what Cordelia saw in Angel not the vampire with a soul, not the champion, but the man, the man that brought them together as a family. Wesley was ashamed at the fact that he never saw it before saw the man that stole Cordelias heart, the man she gave up her humanity for, the man she was willing to die for, the man that owned her body and soul even though she would never admit it. With that he pulled out his cell phone and made a call to his past come hell or high water that man is here to stay. After the call Wesley made his way back to the lobby of the hotel with a look of hope and sadness in his eyes. He had some research to do his friends have been through so much together and one of them isn't allowed to be happy and he plans to remedy that.

TBC


	3. Arrival

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

"Are we there yet," piped Dawn from the back seat? She was excited to see Angel and Cordelia again. Sure maybe she really never met then being the key and all but she remembers them like she did right down to Cordelia's shopping skills and snarky attitude to Angel's brooding. She just hoped that they felt the same way about her; she wanted to be remembered as Buffy's annoying little sister and not the key. Angel had been a big part of her sister's life and she did have the biggest crush on him and Cordy, Dawn had always wanted to be like her, the attitude the confidence just being who she was.

"Not long now Dawn," replied Willow from behind the wheel as she checked the rearview mirror to make sure that Xander, Spike, and Giles were still behind her since she was the only one that knew where Angel's hotel was she had been designated to drive and since everyone couldn't fit into one car they decided to split into two groups boys in one car girls in the other.

"But it feels like we've been driving forever," complained Dawn as she fidgeted she wanted to be there already it was taking so long.

"You didn't have to come," quipped the red headed witch with exasperation. She had really hoped to come alone but Buffy insisted that since the hellmouth was quiet that they could use the vacation. Willow knew that Buffy still thought that she and Angel would have their whole teenage love thing and that Angel will love her forever. Willow knew that this wasn't true that Angel had moved on but this also brought up the issue of how she was going to explain how Angel and Cordelia are not the same people they were in Sunnydale. The last time she saw Cordelia there was an air about her an openness she never showed when they were in high school and well Angel was wearing color so something had to change there. But seeing how they probably wouldn't believe it until they see it she decided she would explain it at all.

"Your right we didn't," said Buffy from the passenger seat. "But we all needed some time off from the hellmouth and I would like to see Angel." Willow let out a slight sigh when Buffy said those words she knew that this was the wrong attitude to have and that Buffy would be hurt when the truth came out.

"Why do they need you in LA," piped Dawn curiosity getting the better of her. Willow had been close mouthed since the phone call earlier that night. She just got up from dinner and said she was needed in LA right away and went to pack an overnight bag.

"Oh boy,' sighed Willow hoping to avoid this question but knowing Dawn and Buffy would accept an 'I don't know' so she continued on "it's Cordelia Wes called and said she has some kind of mystical block on her mind they need my help to remove it."

"Sounds easy enough for you so why so down," replied a chirpy Buffy who was happy that she would be able to see Angel again hoping maybe he would shove the feelings she was having for Spike out of her heart. Seeing Angel again would show her that they were soul mates that the love would be the kind that lasted forever just like in a dream or romance in the films.

Willow was afraid it would come to this she was hoping she would have more time before it came up but knowing it had to be now she slowly started to hurt her best friend, "Buffy when this is finished…I'm…I'm not going back to Sunnydale no I can't go back to Sunnydale."

Buffy just sat there as the words poured out of her friend's mouth her heart saddening as each word struck home, her mind unwilling to accept the fact that her best friend would not be coming home.

"Willow why," cried Dawn from the back seat able to say the words Buffy was unable to form. Dawn wasn't as naïve as everybody thought she knew why Willow didn't, no couldn't go back to Sunnydale but she had to hear the words she needed to hear the words before she would accept it.

"Too many memories I don't belong there anymore not after what I did, I need to move on, move past it I can't do that in Sunnydale and not with you guys. I know you forgive me but you still remember you still have the look in your eyes you still see what I did and I can't deal with that and move on with my life so I'm gonna stay in LA maybe work at Angel Investigations seeing how I can still help with all the beasties," whispered in a sad but determined voice. Willow didn't want to tell them like this but it had to be done she had already told Giles her plan and he understood and accepted her choice he knew she had to deal with what she did but she couldn't do that with the constant reminder everyday. Besides only two people could possibly help her move on and fully understand but one was always with Buffy so she decided to ask Angel for help after all he owes her at least that much.

"But Will are…. you," started a now down heartened slayer still unwilling to accept her friends choice. Emotions were running through Buffy like a storm love, hate, happiness, but most of all a sense of loss she was going to leave her best friend behind when she went home.

"Yes Buffy I'm sure I can't be in Sunnydale not anymore but don't worry I'll keep in touch I do know how to use a phone you know and we have email," cut in Willow she was not going back to Sunnydale and it did not break her heart like she thought it would maybe she would be able to get to know the new Cordelia she glimpsed the last time she was in LA hell she might get to know Angel as well. It was the chance of having a new life, a new family; it was something she desperately needed after everything that had happened after everything that she did.

"If you're sure," said an exasperated Buffy. Everyone was leaving her first Angel then her mother Joyce and now her best friend was leaving as well. Why couldn't she have a normal life? Why did things have to change and be complicated? These thoughts were racking Buffy's mind when Willows angry voice snapped her to attention.

Willow was furious something snapped when Buffy said those words she knew what the Slayer was thinking and frankly she was tired of it and this time she voiced her displeasure at Buffy's woe is me routine. "Dammit Buffy just shut up. For once in your life can you comprehend the fact that this is not about you or your 'I never get to have a normal life' crap, yes you're the slayer you don't get a normal life get over it its your destiny and its not going to change I thought you would have dealt with that by now but I guess not. Did you ever think about your friends you know me, Xander the ones that had a normal life and gave it up to help you hell even Cordelia gave up normalcy to help you. You never thought of that did you? But guess what it doesn't matter because this is not about you or your slayer destiny this is about me do you get that me Willow the one that tried to destroy the world and killed innocent people. You remember that because I do. I have to do this for me just like you had to leave when you sent Angel to hell, it was something you had to do just like this is for me at least you'll know where I'm at and that I'm safe well as safe as I can be fighting demons."

Dawn and Buffy sat there in shock at the vehemence of Willow outrage. Dawn wanted to defend her sister but thought against simply because what Willow said was true she could have chose a better way to say it but then again Buffy most likely wouldn't have understood if it was a rational conversation she could be quite dense.

The heat and fire could still be seen in Willow's hazel eyes as she drove toward the rest stop in silence the Summers sisters didn't know what to say to her outburst and Willow thought the silence suited her mood just fine.

Xander followed Willow into the rest stop happy for the break he was not in any hurry to go see dead boy even though he was looking forward to seeing Cordelia again. He knew that they needed Willow's help but he couldn't understand why Buffy insisted that everybody come. After this stop Xander knew the next stop was Angel's hotel so the sooner they got going the sooner he could go home.

Wesley paced around the office he once occupied thumbing through every book and prophecy he had trying to find a cure or clue on Angel's gypsy curse. That curse was quite ingenious really perfect happiness is so hard to find yet so easy to attain not many people find that happiness yet Angel walks that thin line everyday of his eternal life.

Wesley sighed as he went over his texts again and still found nothing that could help him. He needed more information so Wes decided that he needed to make a trip to the post office.

"Fred I'm going out for a little while I need to get some books from my place I should be back before our guest arrives but if she gets here before I'm back have her wait for me," Wesley lied as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the doors. He needed to hurry he wanted to be back before Willow got there. Fred and Gunn might recognize her from when they got back from Pylea but he needed to explain about Cordelia before she started anything. After all Cordelia's mind is a mystical highway between earth and the higher planes of existence.

"I beseech access to the knowing ones," Wesley recited as he did the ritual that was required to enter the oracles realm. He was hoping that the oracles have been replaced since the vocah incident. It's been three years since that incident and didn't think the powers would leave such a position open for that long but nothing could have prepared him for what greeted him when he was transported to the little dimensional room.

"Your right Willow this place is huge," screeched Dawn as she entered the Hyperion's lobby followed by Buffy, Willow, Xander, Spike and finally Giles as they all looked at the lobbies decorum and size with a sense of awe wondering how Angel could afford such a place.

Fred looked up from the where she sat on the ottoman holding Connor. She barely recognized the redhead in the group as the one that was here when she first arrived back from Pylea. Fred didn't know what to say to the group that stood before but luckily she was saved the trouble since Angel had finally pulled himself together and was walking somberly down the stairs. His eyes still had that lost look but he was aware and his mood was a little better when he got a look at his son. Angel crossed the lobby and took his son from Fred giving him a slight hug and a kiss before addressing the scooby's who had a dumbfounded look plastered on their faces.


	4. Arguments and Revelations

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

"D…. D…. Darla," was the only word Wes was able to stutter as he crossed the threshold to the dimensional space the oracles once occupied. His mind reeling at the fact that Darla was standing right in front of him with slightly amused grin and a white satin gown almost as if she belonged there, as if she had been waiting for him, was she waiting for him?

"Yes Wesley it's me Darla," Darla said with a quizzical smile on her face not really believing she was there herself. Apparently self-sacrifice was a way to get a second chance even for a soulless demon like she once was.

"But why…. how," Wesley questioned getting over his initial shock and wonderment. He was also a bit wary was this really happening and not some kind of trick.

"Well, I a soulless demon, a vampire sacrificed my life so another could live. So the powers that be gave me a second chance, basically it was this or hell and I'm not stupid been to hell once not going back by choice," answered Darla as she waited for the ex-watcher to comprehend what she was saying.

Wesley just stood there dumbfounded as he processed the information the former vampire just told him. It made an ironic kind of sense really a once soulless demon who took joy in torturing and killing innocents is now forced to help the innocent and guide their champions.

"Well you going to stare at me all day or should I send you on your merry way," Darla giggled still amused at Wesley's look of sheer amazement. It wasn't like she wanted this job she just didn't relish the thought of unspeakable torture for all of eternity. A girl had to do what a girl had to do to stay happy, well as happy as she could since she had become vacuum bait.

"Angel's curse," Wesley said getting right to the point still slightly shocked but he could think about this later he has work to do. Why she was here was the least of his problems at the moment?

"What curse," answered Darla slightly confused at the question but also unaware that Angel hasn't told anyone that his soul is permanent.

"You know the gypsy one the one you tried to manipulate to get Angelus to come out and play," Wesley sarcastically replied a bit upset that the woman in front of him would have the gall to play the dumb blonde card.

"Angel doesn't have the curse on his soul anymore Wesley he hasn't for a long time now," Darla said finally realizing that Angel hasn't told anyone yet. Her dear boy was probably afraid to tell anyone, afraid of what everyone's reaction would be, afraid that it wasn't true that it was some kind of trick.

"How…. when miracle," Wesley stammered astonished that Angel would not tell anyone about his soul being permanent.

"No Wesley no miracle he doesn't get that until later, it's just a curse Wesley, a curse can be broken, Angel broke his curse when Connor was born when Connor looked at him with unconditional love and trust a look that says I know who and what you are but I don't care, a look he's seen from only one other person but didn't recognize it until that night and do you honestly think any being can look upon their child and not be perfectly happy," Darla said amazed that anyone would think someone could feel anything but happy as they looked at their own child. She felt nothing but love for her son and she was a soulless demon when she carried him. But this was Angel he was a vampire with a soul but he was still a man and he had something that he never thought he would ever have, a family, and a child. If that couldn't make him blissfully happy what else could? Everyone seemed to jump to the same conclusion it had to be sex or drugs they narrowed it down to, but those weren't what made him happy he had everything he ever wanted all he needed now was his humanity.

"Oh I see, wait what miracle?" Wesley questioned as he caught what Darla said wondering what miracle Angel would receive.

"You'll see," was all Darla said as she transported Wesley back to the mortal plain.

Wesley stared at the wall under the post office for several minutes trying to understand Darla's words. He understood the concept of Angel's curse being broken. What he didn't understand is the miracle Darla mentioned. What miracle would Angel receive? Wesley didn't think that it was his shanshu due to the fact that they already knew about that and it was prophesized. Wesley decided not to dwell on it knowing he would only come up with more questions and with no reference to go from he would get nowhere so he started his way back toward the Hyperion.

Angel walked down the stairs his eyes fell onto the petite blonde, he waited to feel the pain and the longing that he always used to feel for her but nothing came. He truly had closed the door on that part of his life; he finally left the past behind him. He nodded briefly at her, Angel wasn't in the mood to play a great host, not that he ever was he just wanted to grab Connor go back upstairs and sit by Cordy's side the place where he belonged.

"Hello Buffy" He said to her politely as he walked over to where Fred was holding his son in her arms. The small Texan looked up at him her eyes wide and full of fear, afraid that they were going to lose Cordy, her, Gunn and Wes were going to lose a sister, Angel was going to lose the love of his life and Connor was going to lose his mother.

"We'll work it out Fred. We'll get through this together, we always do." Angel told her with one hand he took hold of his son and with the other he took hold of Fred's and gave it a squeeze. He nodded to Gunn and Wes. They both tried to give him an encouraging smile but they failed. He turned away and headed back up the stairs. Buffy he acknowledged with their relationship she deserved that. He turned to Willow he needed to speak to her since he invited her up "Willow they will explain it all to you?"

The red head nodded and wandered over to the AI gang. Buffy watched as Angel barely took any notice of her and the only other one of her friends he talked to was Willow but he never even glanced at the others. She frowned something was wrong, they were his guests, well Willow was he should at least say hello and spend time with her uhhh them. "It's not like Cordelia is going anywhere." The slayer mumbled and went to follow the vampire upstairs maybe they could talk about them but she stopped as she looked up into the brown blazing eyes of the vampire, she had seen him this angry but never directed at her.

With that Angel turned and angrily climbed the stairs, she went to follow but someone had gotten hold of her arm. She turned sharply it was Wesley.

"Don't, he doesn't need this not now." Wes told her trying to be polite to his former charge.

"Buffy come and help? Spend sometime with me." Willow called out hoping that she would, no one needed this right now they were all worried about Cordelia that is why she was here, but why had Buffy come?

"You don't get it do you Buffy," said Wesley as he watched the slayers reaction to Angels glare and Willows plea. Buffy still thought she had a chance with Angel that she was still the center of his world.

"Get what," replied Buffy with confusion and anger etched in her voice.

"Angel and Cordelia's relationship or why he looked at you like that," Wesley answered getting angry at the slayers refusal to see the obvious.

"What relationship their just friends," Buffy retorted to the ex-watcher refusing to believe that Angel would direct that glare at her intentionally.

"Just friends, just friends," Wesley snapped anger getting the better of him "just friends don't cut off someone's hand for a piece of paper, just friends don't jump to alternate dimensions with a chance of not getting there and an even greater chance of never returning, just friends don't make trips to hell and break someone out regardless of the consequences. Just friends don't do that Buffy but guess what Angel has done that for Cordelia. When it comes to Cordelia's safety Angel will do anything regardless of the price without a second thought, when it comes to Cordelia Angel doesn't play by the rules. You have no idea what those two have been through together you have no idea what those two have given up for each other so don't act like you do and don't act like you know them because you don't," finished the rogue demon hunter his emotions getting the better of him as he finished his tirade at the slayer. He was tired and it wasn't only the people here in Sunnydale that had lived through horrors they had in LA as well and it was time she understood that.

Giles, Xander and the rest of the scooby's stood in awe at what Wesley had just said they heard from Willow that Angel and Cordelia were friends but they never knew they were that close or that Angel would go to such lengths to protect her that Cordelia would come to mean that much to him.

Willow could see the disbelief in Buffy's eyes but she knew that Wesley was telling the truth she was here the day Angel returned form the other dimension with Cordelia still traipsed out in her princess garb. The day she told Angel Buffy had died that day she saw what Cordelia meant to Angel when she was the only one he would let touch him let alone near him after she broke the news to him.

"Willow would you come here please," Wesley asked as he walked toward the sofa in the hotel's lobby. He decided that he would soon tell everybody the situation to get all the surprise and questions taken care of right away so they can focus on saving their friend.

"Sure Wesley what's going on," Willow replied as she followed him to the sofa and sat down she had a feeling that a few more surprises were going to come up in this conversation.

"It's about Cordelia I know you said the spell should be easy enough for you to do. But your assuming that Cordelia is normal right," asked the ex-watcher as Willow took a seat next to him.

"Yes that's right…let me guess she's not," Willow answered not really surprised at Wesley's claim. The last time Willow was here Cordelia felt different, felt powerful in a weird sort of way.

"Your right she's not, she's a seer," Wesley stated "she gets visions of people in trouble and Angel goes out to save them. So yes she's not normal her mind is a link to a higher plane of existence so when you do this you have to be careful I don't want you getting hurt," finished the former watcher waiting for the questions to come pouring in but also knowing that he wasn't the one to answer them it wasn't his story to tell. The question Wesley received is the only question he truly didn't want to answer.

"Wesley how did Cordelia come to be in a coma was it from one of these visions or something else," Giles asked from the door to the office his curiosity peaked at the changes that have taken place with the people he once knew. He wasn't foolish enough to act like he still knew them people change and Giles understood that.

"Oh dear," Wesley sighed at the question not really wanting to explain but knowing he was going to have to "no it wasn't from one of her visions Cordelia fixed that problem almost a year ago."

"Then what is it," Giles asked again curious to this development. Wondering what could be the cause if it wasn't one of these so called visions.

"Cordelia's demon powers surged out of control causing her to lose consciousness it also formed the block that we need Willow to remove," Wesley spat out and waited for the onslaught of surprise and questions he was thoroughly disappointed when he was met with utter silence.

The scooby's were shocked into silence when the words poured out of Wesley's mouth. Cordelia Chase getting visions and also part demon it was too much change for them to comprehend at the moment.

"So another check in the weird column for the supernatural," Xander quipped no longer able to stand the awkward silence that descended upon the room. He was also trying to lighten the mood, which had darkened quickly since Wesley's revelation.

"Right things happen people change Willow will you please join me in the office," Wesley quickly rattled off as he made his way toward the office not wanting to answer any more questions that were not his right to tell.

"What is it Wesley," Willow asked as she stepped into the office. Curious as to why Wesley would want to speak to her alone.

"Well you know about Cordelia's visions and demon powers so you know to be careful but before you start will you talk to Angel try and reassure him a bit. Cordelia means a lot to us if you couldn't tell but she means a lot more to Angel more then any of you realize probably more than even we realize;" Wesley said remembering the confession he overheard Angel tell an unconscious Cordelia.

Willow slowly made her way upstairs trying to think of ways to reassure Angel that she could remove the block but she was having trouble she didn't take into consideration that Cordelia would be a seer or a demon that complicates things just a little bit. She was also worried about Buffy and her reaction to Wesley's words. Wesley had hinted at the relationship without actually divulging the whole truth Willow knew what he meant but she had to find out the truth to make sure Buffy's anger and hurt would be worth it.

Buffy saw Willow making her way upstairs so she thought this as a chance to make her way up as well without anybody noticing but a green hand latched on to her forearm and dragged her out to the hotels garden.

"Sorry their lambkins can't let you do it," Lorne said to the slayer, as he got ready to explain things he knew Angel should but never would. That damn vampire was always getting him into situations he hated.

"What…why…. who are you?" Questioned Buffy as she turned to the green demon that dragged her outside anger evident in her voice.

"My name is Lorne and why can't I let you that's simple our dear Angel cakes isn't in love with you anymore and hasn't been for a long time. His heart belongs to our dear princess," the former caritas host explained not liking the look on the slayers face.

"No your lying he loves me we're soul mates ours is a forever love," Buffy spat out angrily not willing to accept the demons words but somehow deep down she knew it was true.

"I never said he didn't love you, you will always have a place in his heart Buffy but he isn't in love with you anymore. That's all your getting from me Angel will have to explain the rest but you won't get anything until Cordelia is safe," Lorne replied knowing saying anymore would betray Angel's confidence and that the slayer would not believe it until Angel said it to her.

"But," the slayer started still wanting to argue and vent her frustrations.

"No buts sweet cheeks I don't know about you but I could use a seabreeze," Lorne interrupted as he made his way back into the hotel.

Buffy followed the former caritas host angrily back into the hotel wanting more answers and bound and determined to get them.


	5. Spells and Truths

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

"What the hell is going on why won't anyone let me see Angel," screamed Buffy extremely upset as she stormed into the hotel from the garden. Angel and her had a history she should be allowed to see him whenever she wanted to. She was tired of people telling her Angel had moved on that he had found someone else it was ridiculous Angel was constant he never changed.

"Buffy sit down," Wesley snapped as he heard the slayer come screaming into the hotel. He was tired and worried about Cordelia he was in no mood for her temper tantrums he had hoped that she had grown out of that.

"What?" Questioned the slayer angrily. Amazed that her former watcher would speak to her like that.

"You want the story I'll tell you the story but first you're going to sit down and shut up I'm tired of your prancing around like this is your life because it's not. Now I'm gonna tell you about Angel and Cordelia's relationship but your not going to like it and frankly I don't care," Wesley answered quietly and angrily as he prepared to tell the Scoobies about Angel and Cordelia's life together.

"The poof and the cheerleader, I gotta hear this," Spike said from his position by the stairs his first words since he arrived at the hotel. He sensed a mood in the air and as much as he liked antagonizing his grandsire, this wasn't the time but he couldn't pass up some ammo for the future.

"Angel saved Cordelia when she moved to LA she was hurt, broke and living in a roach infested apartment with only Hollywood party snacks as food. One night Angel saved her from a vampire and he found out her situation and helped her get back on her feet. In doing so Angel believed that he condemned her to his life of darkness but she proved him wrong by showing Angel that light can shine even in the blackest of nights I believe her words were 'I illuminate better at night' but Cordelia also saved Angel after all she was the one he's run to over the past few years. She's been his lifeline, his support, his seer, and his savior in many ways. Her visions and demonization have only strengthened the powerful connection they have to each other. They've had no one but each other to turn to, especially after losing Doyle. We've been able to provide the stabilizing influence they both need, and offer the friendship they both crave, but the two of them have a bond I've never seen before something that goes beyond friendship or basic love. She might annoy the hell out of him but she's also the only one that can calm him down when he's angry. Can you think of any other person who can look an angry vampire in the face then insult and complement him at the same time," Wesley started as he looked around the room.

"They have both changed and grown and it is because of each other, Cordelia has shown us her heart, she has put herself last time and time again. I am amazed that she still looks on the bright side of things. All her visions give her are the bad things that life has to offer and she feels the victim's pain and torture Angel is the only one who comforts her, he's the only one that can begin to understand what she feels, he sometimes doesn't want to go out and help the helpless but she forces him to and she suffers alone and in silence, she is quieter within, she rarely goes out and on dates. Take a look around this is her life, her home, and her family. Angel on the other hand is has come out more." Wes laughed softly. "Cordelia doesn't actually give him a choice she drags him out of his room, she makes him laugh and talk, makes him take her out once in awhile. He has become a strong man, a leader. Cordelia is the one he reaches out too when he is hurt but when he is brooding or upset emotionally and trying to hide it she knows, it is just part of their connection. She even brought him plastic flowers and put them in the basement where they train because he couldn't go out. They bring out the best in each other, two sides of a coin, yin and yang they just compliment each other, they go hand in hand."

He stopped as he noticed the strange and incredulous looks on the faces of the Scooby Gang. He sighed.

"They are not the same people you all remember. The visions and demonization have changed Cordelia. Angel's been there through it all, as she has with the things that have happened to him. It was inevitable they should fall in love. After all, in some ways, Cordelia is twilight, suited to his life and his own darkness. She accepts him for who he is, Angelus and all, and she's able to fulfill him in a way that no one ever has, even you Buffy and if you look deep enough inside yourself, I think you'll see that," he finished softly, seeing the pain and understanding flare in Buffy's eyes. The room remained silent, absorbing his words.

Wesley felt a sense of relief as he saw the slayer's eyes clear, the look of pain however still lingering. The Scoobies still had confused looks in their eyes but an understanding was starting to show through.

"Wesley how can Angel understand the pain that Cordelia feels?" Dawn asked shyly wondering how anyone one can feel such torture and pain but also wondering how Angel can understand.

"You all seem to forget that Angel spent over a hundred years in hell being tortured on a daily basis so yes he can understand the pain Cordelia feels he won't talk about it and he doesn't ask Cordelia to either he's there for her to comfort her and talk if she wants to that's all she seems to need. Like I said they have a connection an understanding that goes beyond words and feelings," Wesley answered somberly not wanting to dwell on his friend's pain.

Willow slowly approached Angel's room and peeked inside and a smile slowly crept across her face as she watched Angel play with the baby boy that was crawling around on the bed next to Cordelia. She didn't know why but somehow the picture she saw seemed right like this is the way it's supposed to be of course Cordelia wouldn't be in coma.

"What is it Willow?" Angel asked sensing her presence outside the door.

"Huh…who…me sorry," Willow stammered as her heart jumped to her throat at Angel's question she completely forgot about Vampire senses and wasn't expecting him say anything or even know she was there.

"Willow, its okay come in," Angel said trying to calm her down knowing Willow can get jittery if she's scared or nervous.

Angel moved from the chair he was sitting and sat on the edge of the bed as he motioned Willow into the room letting her know it was okay and to get comfortable.

"So um what's up," Willow asked nervously not knowing what to expect from Angel. She didn't know him that well in Sunnydale and he left there a little over 4 years ago so she really doesn't know him now.

"Willow spill it," Angel answered slightly amused knowing that Willow wanted to ask something but was nervous.

""Well uhhh it's about Cordelia?" She looked down at the floor knowing that if she looked at the vampire she would not be able to ask what was bothering her and she needed to know Buffy's heart had been broken and Willow just wanted to make sure it was true.

Angel watched her he could hear her heart beat speeding up. "Just ask me Willow."

"Are you ummm you know?" Willow stuttered.

"Am I what?" Angel asked confusion written all over his face, he didn't understand what she was trying to say.

"Wes said something and I'm worried about Buffy I just wanted to make sure it was true." The witch was almost as red as her hair she had never spoken to Angel like this before.

"What did he say?" Angel growled hoping that the ex-watcher was not causing more problems for them. He didn't need an angry slayer even though Buffy shouldn't have been here anyway but he should have guessed if Willow told her where she was going Buffy was bound to follow.

"About you know your feelings for Cordelia." The witch asked shyly embarrassment written on her face over such a personal question but she needed to know.

"My feelings?" Angel was a bit confused but then it hit him what Wes had said and why Buffy was upset. "Ohh my FEELINGS. What do you want to know Willow? Am I in love with Cordelia Chase?" He waited for the red head to nod. "Yes I am completely in love with her and that is why I need your help I can't, I won't live without her."

"But how…. why?" questioned Willow not understanding how Angel could fall in love with Queen C. Willow knew that Cordelia wasn't that way anymore but its hard to accept change when someone was the same way your whole life but changed drastically after they left it.

"I don't know how or why Willow I just know it was the easiest thing I've ever done but also the scariest. Over the last few years, she's become the single most important person in my life, and it happened so gradually I didn't really notice until it was too late. I've hurt her Willow hurt her more than I've ever hurt anyone. She trusted me to be there for her and I wasn't I threw her out of my life and never looked back until it was too late. But she took me back; let me earn her trust back. Everyone tells me I'm a good man, that I'm a champion but she's the champion Willow she sees and feels the pain not me, she guides me to where I'm supposed to go, all I do is fight the demon but Cordelia saves the innocent not me. If it weren't for her visions those innocents would have died. I don't deserve her in my life but I'm selfish enough not to let her leave it either," Angel answered truthfully he didn't consider himself the champion everyone claims he is. He's just a warrior, a fighter but Cordelia she truly is the champion, the hero, she's his hero or heroine however you want to put it.

Willow listened intently as Angel answered her question. She silently turned her head to look at the woman she was here to save and was immediately in awe at the beautiful woman that lay in front of her. This definitely was not the Cordelia Chase she knew in high school that Cordelia was beautiful there was no doubt about that but the woman that girl grew into was beyond beautiful. Willow could see the difference between the girl she knew and the woman she was going to save. This Cordelia had an air about her that radiated even in her current state she could see it in the soft contour of her face, the maturity that tugged at the edge of her eyes. Gone was the innocence and naïveté that once stood dominant in her features it was replaced by the truth of the world, truth of the things that go bump in the night.

Willow now agreed full heartedly with Wesley she no longer knew Cordelia but she desperately wanted too. She wanted to get to know this woman who radiated grace and beauty yet at the same reflected the pain she knew existed in the world. Willow could see how Angel fell in love with her. He was here during her transformation he watched, as an innocent girl turned into a woman the world had no words to describe.

"You know Angel you're an idiot," Willow said with confidence in her voice as she looked around his room.

"Huh….what?" Angel spluttered in confusion.

'If Cordelia didn't want to be here she wouldn't be you know that and I know that and from the look of things she doesn't plan on going anywhere either," Willow answered truthfully the things she noticed around his room suggested that Cordelia was here to stay.

"What do you mean from the looks of things everything looks normal to me?" Questioned Angel as he looked around not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

"That's just it Angel to you this room looks normal to me it looks like a room of a married couple. I mean your closet is half full of women's clothing which I hope isn't yours your dresser has a jewelry box on it and I know that romance novel on the nightstand isn't yours is it," Willow said watching Angel look around the room as the realization of what she said hit him full force.

The smile Willow saw grace Angel's handsome face made her heart skip a beat. That smile was mesmerizing it made butterflies the size of elephants flutter in her stomach.

Angel let the smile come to his face naturally as he absorbed Willow's words. He was telling the truth when he told Willow the room looked normal to him but he never considered what it would look like to someone else and when he took that into consideration he couldn't help but smile. What Willow said was true half his closet was full of Cordelia's clothes and shoes, her jewelry box sat atop his dresser for occasions when they went out and she didn't want to go home and the book well there was no way he would ever read something like that.

"Well now that that's done how about we get her back then," Willow said as she prepared herself to enter Cordelia's mind.

"That would be good but are you sure," asked Angel tentatively not wanting to get the girls hurt.

"Piece of cake she'll be back by dinner," Willow told Angel not wanting to voice her concerns, she just got the vampire to lighten up and she didn't want him to be all broody again.

"All right then let's get started," Angel replied as hope and worry danced across his handsome features.

As Willow set about to do her spell, well not a spell per se it was more like a telepathic link to explore the mind for anomalies. The act itself isn't difficult but Cordelia's mind isn't normal so it might be different and she was afraid of getting lost. Worries aside Willow didn't know what to expect she could remove the block but it's up to the victim whether or not they wish to return. 'Oh stop worrying' Willow said to herself and placed her hands on Cordy's temples as she lost herself in deep concentration that signaled the beginning of her quest.


	6. Mind Walk

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

Wesley retreated to his office as silence descended upon the hotel he needed time to think and be alone his day went bad to worse and for once it wasn't because of his guilt or Angel.

"So is this a one man journey or can anybody join," Xander asked as he slipped into the hotels office behind Wesley noticing that the ex-watcher was tense during his little speech.

"What do you want Xander?" Wesley asked annoyed not wanting to talk to anyone, especially not one of the Scoobies.

"Want I want lots of things but that's not why I came in here, you look like you need to talk, I'm here to listen it's what I do," Xander answered moving to his more serious side he may be known as a joker but he knew when and when not to joke around and this was not the time for jokes.

"What do you mean?" Questioned Wesley

"Well I don't have slayer strength, I'm not a creature of the night, I have no magical abilities, I just sit back and watch, and listen when people need to talk what can I say it's my gift," Xander answered nonchalantly trying to get Wesley to open up.

"What do you want to know?" Wesley continued actually appreciative that someone was showing him some concern it also surprised him that it was Xander Harris of all people.

"Actually I would like to know more about Cordelia but more importantly what's with your fancy new birthmark or why your so called family was wary of you," Xander said glad that Wesley was willing to talk.

"My family and birthmark are basically the same story," Wesley grimaced he could feel the pain he caused deep within himself it was a deep rooted scar that would never disappear completely, it would always be there in the back ground waiting to be pulled forward time and time again.

"Tell away," Xander urged him on he knew the ex-watcher needed to talk he could tell by his actions and demeanor if Wesley didn't talk soon he would destroy himself.

"It's Angel's son Connor I kidnapped him, I took him and never planned on coming back all because of a fake prophecy, I betrayed Angel's trust, I betrayed my family's confidence in me and in the end I was played for a fool and had my throat slit and was left for dead. That's where the mistrust you saw comes from the only reason I'm not dead is because Angel needs my help and he's willing to move past what I did because he got Connor back. If Connor had been taken for good I wouldn't be here, I most likely would be dead," Wesley was relieved to be getting some tension off his chest, finally. He couldn't talk to anyone else that he wanted to because those were the ones he betrayed.

"Deadboy would have killed you? I thought he didn't kill humans, what stopped him? I don't think Cordy would've let him kill you," Xander said somewhat exasperated not quite believing what Wesley said.

"Well your wrong Fred and Gunn stopped him or he would've killed me and I believe Cordelia's words at the time were 'he took Connor kill him' with no emotion in her voice at all," Wesley corrected Xander's assumption.

"What no way Cordy's not like that," Xander stammered not wanting to believe his ex-girlfriend could be like that, she may have terrorized people back in high school but she would never have stood by and watched Wesley murdered.

"Yes she is Xander, Cordelia isn't innocent not anymore, she doesn't walk in the light like you and Buffy her visions have shown her the truth of the world and she has changed accordingly, she no longer hides behind false innocence and a plastic smile," the former watcher said bringing down the walls of denial that had sprung up in the boy sitting across from him.

"What do you mean she doesn't walk in the light," asked Xander confused at Wesley's ridiculous words.

"Cordelia is still a champion, she still has a good soul but she doesn't fight the evil in the world from the light like you guys do in Sunnydale, she dances in the shadows with Angel and no one or thing can change that and believe me they've tried. Cordelia likes the world of shadows, the world of darkness; she doesn't have to hide there. The world of darkness may be evil and wrong but it holds the truth of the world and the truth is what Cordelia accepts now, she no longer believes in the falsities that come with the sun," Wesley continued on painting a true picture of the women Cordelia has become no longer the girl that she once was.

"World of shadows huh…what I don't get it?" Xander questioned getting more confused by the moment.

"It's Angel Xander, he comes first and foremost in Cordelia's life and he showed her that the world of shadows may be evil and wrong but it also shows the truth it doesn't hide itself behind rays of sunshine and rainbows. Cordelia now accepts that world as her own and has blossomed in it, she has become a champion because of it but the price she paid is her innocence she can no longer can turn a blind eye to it. If something has to be done she'll do it, no matter how much she hates herself for it. Every choice has its price and that was hers," the former watcher said continuing his masterpiece painting of Cordelia for the disbelieving boy.

"Bastard," was all Xander could say trying to blame Cordelia's life on Angel.

"Don't blame this on Angel Xander he may have introduced her to the world she now lives in but it was her choice to stay it was her choice to develop her darker desires. Angel showed her the world the way it is and gave her the choice to stay or leave she chose to stay and after she got the visions she no longer had a choice until the powers gave her the chance to get rid of them. As a matter of fact they gave her two chances to get rid of the visions and both times she's chose to keep them. The visions are hers and Angel is her champion but more importantly Angel is her best friend. When she wakes up you'll see what I mean but this conversation is over whether you accept it or not Cordelia fights the evil of the world from the shadows with Angel and she doesn't plan on going anywhere that takes her away from him," Wesley paused for a moment letting his word sink into the young mans head. "You also have to understand that they are best friends they thrive with each other but whither alone, they love each other in the truest sense of the word." The rogue demon hunter finished tired of explaining his family's lives to people who refuse to believe the truth from someone who lived that very same life.

"Wesley," Xander asked letting the former watchers words sink in.

"What?" Questioned Wesley in an irritated voice

"Thanks," answered Xander

"For what," said the rogue demon hunter

"The truth," stated Xander simply as he made his way back toward the hotel lobby needing to be alone to comprehend what was said. He still couldn't believe that Cordelia would change so much or that she would choose to live in the night. He always believed that Cordelia relished the sun. She always lit up a room whenever she walked into it, people could get addicted to the light she radiated he knew he did but then he hurt by cheating with Willow, maybe Angel was just as addicted, by the look on his face and what Wesley had said it seemed that the vampire was, he looked lost without his friend.

Giles silently slipped into the office after Xander left he overheard the conversation and he had a few questions he wanted answered pertaining to Cordelia's so called change and the darkness that he's seen in the members of Angels investigations.

"What do you want Giles," Wesley asked catching the man out of the corner of his eye.

"More information on what's happened here in LA, why Cordelia would be the way you described to Xander I mean even in Sunnydale after everything she's seen she was still innocent and I know it was more than just these visions Wes what were you holding back what's caused the darkness I've seen in all your eyes?" Questioned Giles.

"Ever the watcher aren't you," Wesley replied sarcastically.

"Just answer the damn question," Giles said with a hitch of anger in his voice.

"You want to know about what's caused the darkness you see well take Gunn for instance he's a street tough kid who's been fighting vampires since before Buffy ever had a watcher, he was forced to stake his own sister. Fred over there she was a slave in a hell dimension for five years where humans are considered cattle. Me well having your throat slit and left for dead while your friends abandon you have nothing to do with why we have a little darkness," Wesley spat out getting tired of all the questions.

"And Cordelia and Angel," Giles prodded on he wanted the whole story.

"Angel's darkness doesn't need explaining Giles he's a vampire and he's spent time in hell." Wesley answered simply.

"Cordelia." Giles paused and rubbed the bridge of his nose; there was so much he didn't understand. "Wesley, why would she let Angel kill you? Why would she suggest it in the first place?" Giles continued he wanted to know what caused one of his former students to change as much as these people claimed.

"Family Giles, she never had one in Sunnydale, sure she had parents who brought her objects but she didn't consider them family, especially after they left her high and dry. The closest thing she had to true friends in Sunnydale is you and the Scoobies and you never accepted her, always treated her as an outsider. Here in LA Angel accepted her for who she is, let her be herself. Angel is her family Giles and Cordelia takes that very seriously it's something she never truly had and not something she will let go. Cordelia will not let anything interfere with her family and I did just that, I betrayed them I took a member of her family with no intention of returning. I told Xander the truth Giles, Cordelia is not an innocent girl anymore she will do what is necessary to protect her family or get revenge if need be. I hurt her and she wanted revenge. Maybe by killing me she thought she could make me feel the pain she felt in betrayal I don't know you'll have to ask her that. But like I said Angel is her family first and foremost she will choose him before anybody else and they know it." Wesley answered as he sat back down in the chair exhausted.

Willow sat opposite Cordelia on Angel's bed she had to get comfortable to be able to do this, the spell had been cast, the chant had been spoken and the witch reached out her mind and she fell into a trance.

Willow looked around, she was in Cordelia's mind, and she was surrounded in mist. The red head had no idea where to go but a voice caught her attention and she headed towards it, as she walked the mist got thicker and thicker, it felt as if it was grabbing hold of her and trying to pull her back, not let her go and see what was going on. Willow pushed her body hard forwards against an invisible force that was pushing her back. Her body ached, her breath came out in short pants, she had barely moved but it her energy, and her life force seemed to be getting sucked out of her.

"Willow is that you," a voice echoed through the fog.

"Cordelia is that you it's me Willow," Willow said mustering the strength to speak.

"You shouldn't be here you don't have the strength," Cordelia said as she stepped out of the fog and assisted her friend.

"Cor is that really you what's happening why am I so weak," the witch said exhausted her body refusing to cooperate with her mind as she slumped in the former cheerleaders arms.

"You shouldn't be here Willow you can't handle it you don't have the strength," Cordy said as she cradled her friends body getting ready to send her out she wasn't going to let her friend die but she was going to keep her long enough to pass on the information she needed to help.

"But why this should be easy for me, now I'm so weak I promised Angel I could do this, I promised myself I could do this," Willow muttered as she felt her life force being drained but more slowly now that Cordelia was present.

"I'm sorry Willow I truly am but you can't do this only Angel can it's a test from the powers they wanted to kill two birds with one stone so to speak. They wanted me to be able to control my demon so they overloaded me to bring a balance but at the same time they want to challenge their champions resolve to his seer," Cordy replied keeping Willow with her to give her the clues to set Angel on his path.

"But how I don't get it, Angel says he's not a champion, he believes that you're the champion," the witch mumbled struggling to keep conscious.

"Of course that's what he believes but he's a dumbass, he truly is a champion Willow he helps people even when he's miserable and hurting. He goes out of his way to save souls even if they hate him for it. He may not believe he's a champion but he is he's my champion, my hero but more importantly he's my best friend. Willow you need to tell him to see the conduit he knows what I'm talking about his test will be there if he passes I'll wake up if not I won't but don't tell him that or he'll do something stupid." Cordy said as she prepared to send Willow back to her body.

"But I don't understand," Willow whispered as her voice started to fail her.

"You don't need to understand Willow I made the choice because I know Angel will pass so don't worry and I'm sorry about this but it's going to hurt but you'll live." Cordy replied as she sent Willow consciousness back to her body.

A blood-curdling scream could be heard throughout the hotel as Willow's body was thrown away from Cordelia and against the wall. Cracks imprinted themselves around her impact as plaster fell from the ceiling at the force of her expulsion from Cordelia's mind.

"What the…Willow, Willow," Angel said as he rushed to her prone body. He sat and watched in horror as she was thrown across the room.

"What the hell just happened," Spike yelled as he rushed into the room followed by everybody else in the hotel.

"I know," replied Lorne as he crossed the room to the witch's waking form.

"Well what happened then," asked an angry and worried Buffy as she watched blood flow out of a cut on Willow's head and then it started to drop down the side of her face.

"She was thrown out of Cordy's mind just like I was, the powers don't like intruders," answered the former Caritas host leaving out most of the details that they didn't need to know like the fact that if she stayed in Cordy's mind she would have died.

"Angel…. mumbled a now waking Willow silencing the argument that was about to erupt.

"Son of a," growled an Angry Angel as he slammed his fist into the wall as he started to march down stairs to the lobby after asking Lorne to watch Connor.

"Angel…Angel," called Fred as she followed him downstairs.

"Fred take care of everybody while I'm gone ok," Angel told the petite physicist as he rummaged through Cordy's desk looking for the directions to the conduit.

"But…but…I can't," mumbled Fred worry evident her squeaky voice.

"Yes you can Fred you once told us that we are a family remember. You said Gunn was the muscle, Wes was the brain that I was the champion and that Cordy was the heart. You forgot about yourself. I know what you are to this family your our hope. Our hope for a future, our hope for a brighter tomorrow and as long as we have hope we will always have a heart," Angel told Fred trying to boost her confidence but also believing every word he said.

"Okay," said the blurry-eyed Texan as tears welled up behind her eyes at Angel's words.

Buffy glanced down at her friend who was hurt and all because of Cordelia Chase. All she wanted to do was come down and spend some time with Angel, maybe something could have come of it they have both changed, both grown but as usual Cordelia had to be the center of attention, Buffy knew that this was irrational but she couldn't help it, Cordelia had the close relationship with Angel the one that she should have had.

Angel couldn't risk other people's lives just for one person.

"Angel wait?" Buffy said as she caught up with him before he left.

"Buffy I really don't have time to talk to you now I have to go to the conduit." He told her impatience screaming through the tone of his voice.

"Willow was hurt because of Cordelia, you shouldn't ask other people to do that for that bitch." Buffy spat out.

Angel turned very slowly towards her his eyes blazed yellow, his demon was screaming inside of him, it was taunting him in his ear whispering sweet nothings telling Angel what he should do to the annoying slayer. The vampire stared at her intensely Buffy fidgeted getting very nervous as her slayer instincts kicking in. He stalked towards her like a predator hunting its prey until he was finally standing toe to toe with her.

His voice was deep and gravelly silent the threats obvious in the tone. "Let's get something straight I talked to Willow and she OFFERED to help, I didn't ask or force her into anything it was her choice and never, I repeat never say anything about Cordy again. You have no idea what she has been through, what she goes through all the time compared to her all of you have an easy time, now grow up, this is not about you." He stopped raised an eyebrow at her and waited for her to say something. "Now we're finished I have to go."

"But Angel," The slayer squeaked out before he got out the door.

"What the Fuck is your problem Buffy, get over it I don't want you anymore I don't love you that way and haven't for a long time if you can't deal with that and grow up then get the hell out of my house," snapped an irate Angel as he slammed the behind him as he walked into the night.

"Angel why we were so perfect together?" Questioned the blonde powerhouse as she rushed out the hotel refusing to give up.

"When? Was it the time I slept with you and turned evil, or the time when I killed your teacher? Oh, let me guess, it was the time when I was repenting in Hell. Or was it the time when I tried to make things right after it was all over. Our relationship was sadistic and wrong. I tortured you with Angelus. You tortured me with...yourself. It was never-ending. And it needed to stop. It needs to stop, Buffy we're through and it's over now if you'll excuse me I'm going to save the women I love and if you try to stop me again your slayer strength won't save you," Answered Angel in a deathly whisper that was more dangerous then any scream could possibly be as he turned and disappeared into the darkness.


	7. The Test

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you're the best**

"Why have you called me here," demanded Angel as he entered the conduits realm he was surrounded by an eerie light that came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. There was no one around but he knew that he was not alone; you were never alone with the Powers That Be.

Lower being you have no right to question us or what we do this is your test are you ready

"Test, what test? We've been tested enough," Angel spat out disgusted at the powers for giving him and Cordy another test.

You are a lower being you are done being tested when we deem you worthy 

"Whatever let's get it over with," Angel resigned no longer willing to argue with a bunch of morons in his opinion. No matter what he said they were not going to listen to him unless it was in their best interests, which wasn't often. The vampire shook his head in disgust.

You can quit at anytime but if you quit before the end the seer will die are you ready in the end you must trust what you fear the most 

"I said let's get it over with are you guys deaf, I promised to protect her, if this is how I've got to do it then I'll do it, so lets get started," Angel quipped getting irritated at the powers way of speaking. Their riddle was not lost on him he knew exactly what they meant about what he would have to trust.

A bright light descended upon Angel surrounding his body in mist that signaled the beginning of his test he didn't like it somehow he felt wrong like he was someone else and then it hit him he was outside his body watching different events of Cordy's life able to feel and remember everything but not able to interfere or quit if he quit Cordy would die and that was not acceptable. The vampire was going to have to watch her life and why did he have this deep dread that it wasn't going to be happy memories, he tried to prepare himself but no matter what he knew deep down inside of him that it wasn't going to work he would never be ready for this. His hands curled into fists, his nails bit into his palms as he waited to see what was coming and hoping that he would not let her down again as he had so many times before, if he did there wasn't going to be anything that he could do, she would be dead.

The mist surrounded Angel, it enveloped his body, he was lost; he couldn't sense anything. He had been cut off from life itself, he could usually smell blood, emotions something but here there was nothing it felt unnatural but once again he had no choice he had to carry on slowly the mist started to clear and he could finally see where he was, at least he had one of his senses back Angel could see. He looked around and frowned this was Cordelia's apartment what was he doing here? A scream echoed from the bedroom, it was a sound he recognized it was his best friend his light, it was Cordy. He ran to the bedroom as he reached out to touch the door know he walked straight through it and there was Cordelia sitting on the floor sobbing her heart out and an old woman standing looking down at the young woman was Dennis mother, he could hear the old woman talking, telling his friend how worthless she was, how low she was. He smiled and waited for Cordy to tell the ghost what was what, but she didn't she reached out and took the noose.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Angel screamed as he rushed to her it didn't happen like this, it wasn't supposed to. He reached out to grab her but his hands went straight through her body, he tried time and time again but it he could never hold her. He fell to his knees as her body dropped and the rope snapped tight and he heard a break as her neck snapped. Tears flowed from his eyes; he buried his head in his hands willing for the vision to go away. Angel wanted his sight to be taken away again, would it be worse to see and hear what was happening to her, or could he deal with just hearing her screams, neither he didn't want to be here, he sure as hell didn't want Cordy here.

The mist swirled around him, covering the nightmare of Cordelia dangling from the ceiling, her eyes puffy and red from the crying listening and believing everything that the ghost had said. He just stared into those once full of life hazel orbs and felt a part of him die; he would never forget this as long as he lived.

Angel hears a noise his eyes closed tightly afraid of what he is going to see, the vampire tries to erase the image of his beloved Cordelia hanging, her body swinging backwards and forwards and her last thoughts being that she was alone and unloved and finally opens his eyes still terrified of what he would see but still knowing that he had to carry one otherwise he would lose her, the vampire looks around, he frowns it is some kind of warehouse what was he doing here? Memories began to surface from the deep recesses of his memory and then it came to him, it hit him like a speeding train with no brakes. 

"No, not another one please." He ran through some doors and there standing there in a pool of liquid was a very pregnant Cordelia. Fear flowed through his veins as she started to scream and clutch her stomach. He looked back towards the door and waited for Wes and himself to come, to rescue her but no one came and her screams got louder and louder. Angel covered his ears praying for the noise to stop, knowing full well what was going to happen. He couldn't watch while the creature was being born, Cordy wasn't going to survive it and Angel wasn't sure he could cope with how she looked dead again covered in her own blood as her she died.

The mist arrives again and Angel hanged his head; at least the screams had stopped but what was going to happen next. He was starting feel sick to his stomach, all these memories were bad, the vampire would never be able to sleep and not see these images. Why were the Powers doing this? What was it going to prove?

Angel looked around this was one place he didn't recognise what was he doing here. There was nothing in his memory for this one; it was not even vaguely familiar. Fear ate away at his insides was this the future?

"Cordelia, it's time to eat?" Said a soft feminine voice.

The vampire followed the voice, it could be only one Cordelia; he had been shown other visions of Cordy dying or being in pain what was it going to be this time? He slowly walked towards a room, fear choked him if he had a heartbeat, if he breathed both would have stopped at the image in front of him. He had walked into a white room, the walls were padded and lying on the floor strapped in a straight jacket was Cordelia, her hair was straight and greasy, her face was pale and her eyes were red and vacant. Angel knew what they had been doing, she was being pumped full of medication, but why?

A new nurse walked in her face full of concern over the young tortured woman.

"What happened to her?" She asked her voice soft.

"She was in a hotel in LA, she was brought in she was buying art gifts for a friend when she collapsed and all she kept doing was screaming over and over again. She had to be sedated and no one has been able to get through to her." The elder nurse said.

Angel walked over and sat beside Cordy he wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms but he couldn't, this was all his fault if she had never met him none of this would have happened. As Angel watched his best friend stare at the ceiling through sightless eyes the mist descended upon him again. Over and over again his mind screamed at him _why were they doing this?_ And as he relived thing that had happened to her time and time again Angel was amazed by the young woman and disgusted with himself, he was the one who had caused all this, guilt flooded him, it was as if a dam had been opened, the vampire felt as if he were drowning in it. It was pulling him under and there was no one to rescue him. Angel shook his head trying to push it deep down to repress it; he couldn't do the guilt thing now he had a best friend to save, he had to focus, trust that his love for Cordelia will get him through this.

The mist cleared again but this time it was getting quicker, it seemed as if the memories had started off slow and once they warmed up they began to speed up, the memories themselves were in normal speed but the mist in between was getting shorter and shorter, it seemed as if they Powers That Be were not giving him a chance to get his emotions together before they put him into the next memory. Not that it would matter Cordy's death is something he could never get over, something he would never want to see.

He gazed warily around him, he waited for something to jump out and hit him. He was Caritas he saw Gunn, Fred and Lorne something about this was nagging at him and a scream echoed from Lorne's room, he rushed through the doors and there was Darla draining the very life out of her and all Angel could do was watch as her life ebbed away like the sand in an hour glass. Without thinking Angel licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry and then he realised what he was doing, disgusted with himself he turned away from the door and froze. The vampire just stood there like a statue he had become numb, why was he being tested like this? Hadn't all of AI proved there worth time and time again?

The last memories seem to rush through his mind the blonde vampire Harmony killing Cordelia, his seers head braking open and the spawn birthing through her skull, Cordy's brain blasting out of the back of her head and splattering on the wall as the visions took there toll, her screams echoing through his mind and the stench of death that surrounded Cordy where ever she went and each time he couldn't save her all he could do was watch. What was going on? Why were the memories being rushed it was just a montage of clips and sounds, ones that he wanted to forget and all the memories that he already gone through were repeating themselves over and over again. Angel couldn't take it, he couldn't deal with this he opened his mouth and let out an agonising scream, trying to rid himself of the pain.

"Please no not this never this." He begged closing his eyes trying to forget everything that he had seen.

Then everything became silent all the images disappeared Angel slowly opened them not really wanting to but knowing he had no choice in the matter. It had all started again, he thought that with the quick images they had come to the end but they had tricked him. They managed to get him off balance once again; and once again closed his eyes not sure how long he could endure this. Not sure if he had the strength to keep fighting, to stay sane, to hang on to the very end, to save her.

"Angel, am I a bad person is this my punishment for how I was in high school," Angel heard Cordy's voice as he opened his eyes.

Angel sat and watched in horror as the next manifesting vision hit Cordelia her eyes bulged in pain as the slash slowly made its way across her throat letting her lifeblood slowly seep down her neck and onto her clothes. Angel felt his body real or otherwise beginning to go numb as he watched the life drain out of his best friends eyes as her heart stopped.

"Why? Why are you doing this none of it happened this way why?" Angel screamed as tears flowed down his face as the mist began to descend upon him again. Why would they make his worse nightmares come true? The ones he had late at night as he failed her time and time again.

"You really are a terrible actress," Angelus remarked silkily his voice oozed sex appeal. Angel slowly opened his eyes again hearing his own voice, and knowing whom that voice belonged to and he was horrified at the scene in front of him.

"No, it didn't happen this way this is wrong," Angel screamed as he recognized what was happening Cordelia was supposed to convince him that the water was holy water but this was different he watched as Angelus dripping with water lunged and tackled Cordelia to the ground sinking his fangs into her throat and slowly draining her life away. Cordy eyes wide with fear as the man she trusted sucked the blood straight from her body, Angel could see her arms start to dangle at her sides as she become weaker and weaker from blood loss and Angelus didn't look like he planned on stopping, his eyes were bright with lust, with excitement as he savoured every last drop like a fine wine. Angel grabbed his own arms in horror and fear as he felt Cordy's spicy blood running down his throat. So smooth, so warm and flowing so easily. Bile rose in Angel as he could feel the enjoyment of actually tasting her blood.

"God no, oh god no, no, no," Angel started to mumble as the mist descended upon him once again his will power starting to break at the site of his best friend dying over and over again. But it was getting worse first it was him not being able to protect her, now it was him killing her.

Angel opened his eyes as the mist left him and screamed this vision was different from the rest he wasn't watching from the sidelines this time he was actually in the body trapped behind the eyes. He recognized this as Sunnydale it must've been when he was Angelus in Sunnydale.

Angelus stalked through the cemetery he could feel his soul within him, it was locked up just like he had been for 100 years. He could smell the blood of a young person; the perfume told him it was a girl, just what he was in the mood for a midnight snack he crept through the shadows following her closely. He smiled to himself, Angelus could see her looking around nervously her heart was pounding, her breathing sped up and he could sense her blood flowing through her veins so warm, so tasty. The tight red jersey hugged to her trim figure. 

He could feel the soul within him screaming for him to stop, seeing what Angelus had planned in his mind but there was nothing that the soul could do. He was just a prisoner in the sadistic monsters mind, something that was being ignored as Angelus did what he wanted to, what he was good at.

Angelus reached out and grabbed the girl by the throat and pulled her hard against him, he rubbed her pale neck with his thumb sensing the thump of life within, he pushed her head back and slowly sunk his teeth deep into her neck, as the blood flowed into his mouth taking the edge of the thirst but still driving for more he was insatiable. Angelus recognized the girl as Cordelia, the feisty one that always hangs around insulting the slayer. The vampire laughed as the thought of changing her passed through his mind and imagining what she could do to the slayer and her little friends but no, it was too late for her and this one seemed to hurt the soul more than anything else.

"My dear Cordelia don't worry it won't hurt…. much," Angelus smirked before sinking his fangs back into her throat intent on draining the spicy blood completely out of her.

As the last ounce of blood was running down his throat Angelus could feel the hold on the soul break as his eyes glowed a fiery color as he collapsed onto the ground coughing up the little blood that he hadn't swallowed yet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO," Angel screamed, as he broke free of his prison he could still feel and taste Cordy's blood as he crawled over to her lifeless body and cradled her in his lap for a few minutes trying to stop her bleeding with his hands before he realized what he had done he slowly backed away from her body staring at his bloody hands as darkness started swirl around inside of him as guilt and shame overwhelmed his body.

Angel curled himself up into a ball as he brought his bloody hands to cover his face as the light in his eyes faded into nothingness. His body no longer had any feeling, he no longer remembered what was happening as his will finally gave way no longer able to fight anymore. He still refused to quit but no longer remembering why he just knew that he couldn't quit the only thought he had left in him.

"Must save Cordy, must save Cordy, no, no I killed Cordy, no never hurt Cordy love Cordy," Angel was muttering and mumbling as his body was brought back to the conduit where Skip was waiting to bring the champion home sadness was reflected deep in his eyes as he looked at the broken man in the eyes and shuddered as he saw nothing in them.

Cordelia sat straight up and blinked a few times to gather her bearing she recognized Angel's room as she glanced around. She noticed Fred sleeping in the chair in the corner as Conner was playing in his playpen.

Cordy slowly got out of bed and stretched as she walked over and picked up Connor who was smiling brightly at her.

"Who's the bestest baby in the whole wide world. Looks like daddy passed his test," Cordelia said as she walked over to wake Fred up and go downstairs and wait for Angel with one of her megawatt smiles beaming on her face.

"Fred…. Fred," Cordy whispered as she poked Fred in the arm trying to wake her up gently.

"Huh…. what oh Cordy…. CORDY," Fred screamed as she jumped out the chair bouncing around trying to hug her friend but at the same time trying not to crush Connor.

"Calm down Fred I'm not going anywhere so lets go downstairs and wait for Angel," Cordy called as she made her way out the bedroom door.


	8. Insanity

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: And thanks to Lea no matter how much she doesn't want it**

Cordelia took in the scene in the hotel lobby as she descended the stairs. Gunn was sitting on the counter talking quietly with Lorne while Giles was sitting next to the couch tending a wounded Willow who was not to happy about being molly-coddled by the look on her face, Xander, Buffy and Dawn were by the doors that led to the garden having what looked to be an argument.

As Cordelia made it to the lobby a smile bright on her face until she saw Spike and her smile instantly disappeared and her mood darkened into nearly unsuppressed rage still remembering what Spike did to her vampire the last time he graced them with his presence, she remembered all those holes that marred his beautiful skin where the pokers had been shoved into him, how when they released him he could barely stand and she remembered the rage that ran through her veins and vowing in her mind that she would make Spike pay for it. Not bothering to fight the urge to hurt the blonde vampire Cordelia turned around and handed Connor over to Fred as she marched across the lobby ignoring everyone's greeting and surprise until she planted a fierce right hook to Spike's face that sent him flying across the room.

"Oww bloody hell cheerleader what was that for," Spike whined as he caressed his injured jaw as he picked himself up off the floor. The vampire stared at her as if this was the first time he had seen her.

"First off my name is Cordelia not cheerleader and that wasn't half of what you deserve for what you did the last time I saw you. I seem to remember chains and hot pokers and a few other neat little toys would you rather I repay you in kind." Cordelia spoke in calm but menacing voice.

Spike didn't say a word as he looked back at the hazel eyes that were searing with fire as Cordelia stared back at him. At the look he saw in her eyes Spike slowly slid away from her knowing full well she was not lying.

"Cordelia that's enough," Giles demanded from his seat near the sofa.

"Oh I haven't even got started yet," Cordelia said as silvery glow emanated from her eyes as she saw Wesley pacing around in Angel's office. Cordelia slowly paced her way toward the office her anger rising with each painstakingly slow step.

As Cordelia made her way toward the office Gunn and Lorne took the time to retreat behind the counter knowing full well that fireworks were coming.

"What are you guys doing?" Questioned Xander as he followed the street tough and demon behind the counter.

"Were hiding there creampuff, our princess is rather pissed right now and we want to survive to see another beautiful day," answered Lorne trying to shield his eyes from Cordelia's screaming aura.

As Buffy watched Xander disappear behind the counter she and Dawn made their way toward Spike who was still on the floor nursing a sore jaw and a bloody lip.

"Are you alright Spike?" Dawn asked nervously not wanting to bother Spike too much knowing his pride was probably hurt.

"I'll live niblet but boy she is bloody well strong," answered the vampire as he dusted himself off looking curiously at the cheerleader who was disappearing into the office. Spike could feel the power coming off Cordelia in waves and it scared him because for some reason he knew this wasn't half of what she was capable of.

Buffy saw the fear in Spike's eyes as he looked at Cordelia and was going to question it but decided not to she'd heard enough about Cordelia today to last her a lifetime.

Wesley saw the faint glow in Cordelia's eyes as she entered the office and he knew he was in for it. Wesley thought he could prepare for anything but nothing could prepare him for the hurt and rage in Cordelia's eyes.

"How could you Wesley, how could you, why didn't you call me? Why didn't you talk to someone?" Screamed the ex may-queen as she slammed the office doors as she entered.

"You were on vacation what could you possibly do," answered Wesley trying to put on a brave face but truth was he was more scared of Cordelia then he was of Angel.

"Vacation, vacation I was at my apartment if you bothered to call you would have known that," Cordelia yelled at the rogue demon hunter's excuse.

"But Angel, you…. Groo," stammered the ex-watcher confused.

"Your right Angel gave me money to send me on vacation but when I got home I knew Groo wasn't what I wanted so I took Angel's money and sent Groo away told him to go find his princess. I still have the potion if you don't believe me. But that doesn't matter Wesley we had an understanding remember we talk to each other when we have problems. I can understand your hesitation with the others Wes but this is me, Cordy." Cordelia said the rage receding from her eyes as hurt became dominant.

"I'm sorry Cor it's just I had no time the prophecy said Angel was going to kill Connor," Wesley whispered subdued knowing Cordelia had just won the argument.

"Pffft you know full well that Angel would never hurt his son. Oh and your talking hamburger said the father would devour the son not kill him which Angel did thanks to Wolfram and Hart spiking his blood. You of all people should know to look behind the meaning of words Wesley I thought you learned your lesson with the shanshu prophecy," Cordelia said knowing her and Wes's friendship was on its way to recovering but also knowing she would never forgive him either.

"I know," Wes, mumbled as he slumped down in the chair behind the desk.

Cordelia was about to rip into Wesley again when she felt the familiar tingle that meant to her that Angel was around but this time however it was different more complete somehow she knew exactly where he was as she bolted out of the office and upstairs so fast the others had trouble following.

Cordelia burst into Angel's room her bright smile beaming on her face as her eyes were alight with joy and happiness but all that disappeared as she saw her resident vampire huddled in the corner of his room as if he was trying to get away from some unseen enemy.

"Angel," Cordelia tentatively asked as she approached the vampire the Scoobies and AI gang making their way into the room minus Willow and Giles who stayed in the hotel lobby.

"No, no, no not real never real, I killed Cordy, no never kill Cordy, not real, not real, your not real," Angel said as he watched the figure approach him.

"Oh god what did they do to you," Cordy asked as tears welled up behind her eyes.

"Nothing he didn't deserve," Xander quipped regrettably as all the eyes in the room stared daggers at him.

Cordelia was about to rip into Xander when she heard Angel mumbling again.

"Love Cordy, Love Cordy, never hurt Cordy, killed Cordy, always kill Cordy, no never kill Cordy, love Cordy, must trust love, love never lies," Angel muttered contradicting himself.

Tears welled up and threaten to burst from Cordelia's eyes. Somehow the powers had managed to use her against the man she was in love with and it tore her apart and filled her heart with love knowing that he sacrificed it all for her.

"It's okay Cor, it's okay to let it go," Wesley whispered as he approached her.

"No it's not okay it'll never be okay they used me against him, they used ME to break him," Cordy screamed as the tears in her eyes were replaced by a vehement rage directed toward the Powers.

"I think," Buffy started as she approached Angels form huddled in the corner.

"EVERYBODY GET OUT, GET OUT NOW," Cordelia yelled as her body began to faintly glow as anger and despair overwhelmed her.

"But," Buffy tried to get out but was cut off as Spike grabbed and dragged her out of the room knowing that the slayer wasn't wanted or needed in that situation.

Spike knew how to torture like the best of them but what he saw was something beyond masterful. Whoever these Powers were they took torture to a whole new level and it sickened him that he witnessed their victim. But there was also a hint of envy in his emotions as well because he knew that Angel let them do this to him to protect the woman he loves.

"What's going on guys?" Asked Willow tentatively as she saw the group come slowly down the stairs.

"Angel's back," answered Dawn in a sad voice, her eyes and mind elsewhere trying to forget what she saw her heart went out to Cordelia and Angel, all they wanted was the other one safe and sound and for their troubles, it seemed to the teen that they were getting punished for it. She thought that these Powers were here to help people but what they were putting through the two upstairs was nothing but cruelty.

"Really how is he," replied Willow not knowing what they saw upstairs.

"Believe me red you don't wanna know," answered Spike

"And Cordelia," started Giles figuring something had happened to Angel that the others didn't want to talk about much less remember.

"Won't leave him," cut off Wesley as he slowly paced across the lobby sadness and fear for his friends radiated off his steps. He had helped one but in doing that the other was hurting, when would this all stop.

"We need to know what happened so we can help," Giles said trying to information his watcher curiosity ever present.

"Just get off it," grumbled Gunn angrily from his position on the counter.

"But," started Giles again as he started to pace around the room as well.

"They bloody hell tortured him okay, they used Cordelia to torture him. Right now the bloody poof is sitting up there thinking that Cordelia is a figment of his imagination and that he's going to kill her. I don't know what they did and it's not something I want to remember so like the kid said get off it," Spike snapped at Giles knowing it would be the only way he would let it go. The blonde vampire briefly glanced up the stairs he may not like Angel and probably never would but this, he didn't deserve this and the cheer uhh Cordelia definitely didn't she had been dragged into this life a long time ago back in Sunnydale and yet she remained even before the visions. Spike smiled softly at the memory of the brunette holding a crossbow at him, even then she had guts and there was a fire in her eyes, she would stand up and protect those she cared for, hell she even did it for innocents they met. He hoped that they would come through this for her; Spike would hate to think what would happen to her if Angel never came out of this.

Willow gasped at Spike's revelation and a wave of guilt hit her she's the one that sent Angel on that test. Her heart pounded in her chest, her face became paler and tears started to well up in her eyes. If anything happened to Angel it would be her fault. She only wanted to help.

"It's not your fault Willow, Angelcakes knew what he was getting into when he left," Lorne said as he saw Willow's slight gasp and her aura darken. The green demon walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Willow turned and buried her head in his suit jacket and Lorne wrapped his arms around her while the young woman sobbed fear flowing from every pore in her body.

"What do you want?" Questioned Cordelia as she felt another presence appear in the room hadn't they done enough, she wanted to yell and scream out them to hurt them as much as they had hurt her and her family but she knew that it wouldn't get her anywhere.

"How are you miss Chase?" Greeted Skip the armor plated demon that worked for the powers.

"Skip," stated Cordelia to upset and sad to bother with formalities ignoring the stupid question that he had asked. _How did he think she was when one of the people she cares most about has been driven insane with images of killing her, but that didn't need to be said._ Her mind whispered sarcastically in her ear.

"Right down to business then, he needs you," Skip said getting right to the point.

"I know, but," Cordelia replied not knowing what to do.

"You need to be strong for him Miss Chase. He's always been your strength when you needed to be weak now it's your turn to be strong. He's not strong enough to do this without you, not anymore," Skip said sliding in a hint hoping she would catch it.

"What do you mean not strong enough, Angel is the strongest person I know and what do you mean by not anymore," Questioned the seer as she saw a slight smile grace Skip's silvery face. It was odd seeing it on the demons face, the only other demon, apart from Angel, that she had seen smile was Lorne and he did it all the time.

"I mean exactly what I said Miss Chase in order for him to pass the test he had to give in and accept his greatest fear. His Love for you is what he gave in to. He completely opened his heart to you and now its up to you to save it," Skip said answering her question. Watching the myriad of emotions that ran across her face.

"You mean," Cordelia tried to ask as a lump got caught in her throat. She couldn't get the words past it and her mind was having problems believing what he was saying and her heart, well she was sure it had stopped beating, maybe she was dead.

"Yes Miss Chase, he's in love with you, it was that love that allowed him to face those trials even though he watched you die repeatedly, somewhere in the recesses of his mind he knew the real you was alive," Skip answered as sadness welled in his eyes as he remembered what the powers did to their champion.

Emotions raged through Cordelia's body and mind as she listened to Skip's explanation. Anger was a more dominant one as she heard that the Powers had made Angel watch her die over and over and from Angel's words earlier somehow they had made him kill her as well.

"If what you say is true why does Angel think he killed me himself, you said he just watched me die?" Questioned Cordelia with false strength trying to get the whole story. Needing to know what had been done to him.

Skip drew in and released a deep breath before answering "Angelus, they made Angel sit behind the eyes of Angelus and feel all the emotions and pleasure Angelus took in draining you and the moment you died they brought Angel back with your blood still in his mouth."

"Oh god no," Cordelia said as the tears she's been holding back threatened to break free. They were tears of fear, pain but also of anger. It raged through her like a tidal wave, her eyes glittered bright as she stalked towards Skip staring at him straight in the eyes. He could see the fury in them, the fire. "Let me get this straight the Powers That Be, the good guys let Angel see me die time and time again right but no that wasn't enough they had to take him to a place that he had been trying to redeem himself from. His fear, his terror of becoming Angelus and hurting the ones he loves and you." She said in a restrained voice as she poked him in the chest. "Did it on purpose, you assholes what the hell were you doing are you trying to totally destroy him because I tell you if anything does happen to him and I don't get him back I will be coming after you guys and the horrors you've sent to me will be nothing compared to what I do to you."

"Miss Chase it's time for me to go, just know that he needs you now more then ever. When he gave in to his love for you, your bond became stronger, he can no longer survive without you," Skip replied as he disappeared leaving Cordelia to bring back the man she loves but also wanting to get away from this woman she was starting to frighten him.

Cordy turned to Angel she wasn't sure what to do so she turned back to Skip but he had vanished.

"Typical." She muttered.

Her attention came back to the vampire who was huddled on the bed staring at her with guilt, sadness and fear in his eyes. The brunette's heart broke over and over again as she saw him and that was when it hit her, she did love him with everything she was that is why none of her relationships worked because she loved him, she realized she let her feelings slip in her thoughts a little earlier as well but was to upset to take notice until now. Each step she took to be by him seemed like an eternity, a step closer to her destiny. She reached out a delicate hand and touched him on the shoulder.

The vampire turned to her, his eyes turned yellow he wanted this torment to be over, he was weak and couldn't do this anymore his Cordy was dead and he killed her, this was the worst hell he had ever been in, watching her die over and over again but he couldn't take it anymore he just wanted it to end.

One minute she was reaching out to him and the next she had been slammed against the wall with Angel whispering in her ear.

"No more please, she died because of me, why is she alive now? You are tormenting me." His game face appeared. "I have to end this you should be gone by now. You are the one doing this to me. Why are you doing this to me it needs to end I'm going to end it."

Downstairs in the Hyperion Spike heard Angel upstairs and what he had said to Cordelia with that he rushed up the stairs leaving curious looks behind him.


	9. Conversations

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vacation (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: And thanks to Lea no matter how much she doesn't want it**

Spike barreled across Angel's room and ripped the dark haired vampire's broad body off Cordelia seconds before he could bite into the seer's neck.

"Spike huh what's going on?" Cordelia asked everything had happened so fast first she had her hand on Angel's shoulder and now she was against the wall with Spike sitting on top of a struggling albeit somewhat insane Angel.

"He was going to kill you chit but what I don't get is why aren't you scared?" Spike asked sensing no fear in the room as he concentrated on keeping Angel down. He knew if Angel really wanted to get up he would have trouble keeping the older and larger vampire down. He just hoped that if needed Buffy would come here and help him keep her ex-boyfriend in line until they figured out what was going on.

"Pffft I haven't been afraid of Angel in years, I know he would never hurt me," answered the former cheerleader with a wave of her hand dismissing it without a second thought.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed our great poof isn't exactly his old poofy self now is he," replied Spike sarcasm dripping of every word.

"His name is Angel, use it!" Replied Cordy anger starting to well up at the blonde vampire.

"We'll get into that later, you should go downstairs," Spike said annoyed at the cheerleaders outburst. He rushed into here thinking that she needed to be saved from Angel and not even a thank you.

"I'm not leaving him," Cordelia spat out in sheer determination and stubbornness. She couldn't leave him; he was like this because of her.

"Look, I know you don't trust me and I understand that even if the Scoobies don't, they don't know about my trip here to LA but you are going to go downstairs and get something to eat and talk with your friends. You've been out cold for 3 days. I'm not going to let me old grandsire here hurt you or himself so don't worry. I'm going to tie him up until he calms down and then you can come back up ok," Spike dolled in an no argument voice as he stared at Cordelia with a steel blue gaze that dared here to say otherwise.

"Okay but I will be back," Cordy replied as she exited the room refusing to give Spike the satisfaction of getting the last word in. Once her back was to Spike she smiled, after this was sorted out she would thank him, but she couldn't let the blonde vampire think that he had the upper hand, she never let Angel and she wasn't going to start with Spike

"How do you put up with her," Spike said to an unresponsive Angel as Cordelia exited the room as he began to tie Angel to the chair that was present in the room. But he was jealous the two of them cared about each other so much that they would do anything to make sure that the other was safe, who was he kidding all of Angel Investigations were like that no matter what had happened, what arguments they had with each other if one of them was hurting or in pain they all would drop everything to help, and wouldn't give up. He wished he had that in his life.

Cordy slowly descended the stairs taking deep breaths to calm her nerves she had not seen these people in a while, not since she had left Sunnydale and Willow well she was the only one she had actually seen and spoken on the phone with.

Willow was still being fussed over by Giles but when they heard a cough they all turned to look at the stairs. The witch smiled got to her feet and rushed over hugging her. Cordy was a little shocked but it only took her a second before she hugged her back.

"I'm sorry about Angel Cordelia, if I…"Willow stuttered.

"Hey it's not your fault." She told the red head

Buffy stood by the counter a frown on her face; she was trying to see what was so different about the woman standing in front of her and the bitch of a girl she went to school with. How had she changed? What made her so special that she had everyone her desperate to help her?

Fred had tears in her eyes and she waited for Willow to move and as soon as Cordy's arms were free she ran into them holding her tight afraid that this was a dream and when she woke up that Cordy was still going to be in her coma.

The next thing Cordy knew she was hugging Fred and then two pairs of strong arms held her and she knew it was Wes and Gunn. Tears rolled down her cheeks as 3 members of her family surrounded her.

Xander watched Buffy's searching look as she looked at Cordelia but she wouldn't see the differences because Buffy saw only what she wanted to see. The differences were easy to see when you looked. Cordy's eyes were darker and held more knowledge and pain but still held the fire of life as well, her posture was no longer stiff and rigid like that of the ice queen it was more open and caring like she no longer cared what people thought. Her beauty well she was always beautiful no doubt about that but apparently Cordelia's beauty was like a good wine just gets better with age because no words could describe the beautiful woman he was looking at. Xander was in utter awe and felt a hint of jealousy that Angel was the one that got to see the transformation.

Cordelia pried herself loose from her families hug and glanced around the room taking in everything. She saw Buffy's searching gaze and knew she would eventually have to talk to the slayer but now was not the time she wasn't in the mood for a fight. Cordelia caught Willow's shy look and Giles twinkling eyes and she knew questions were going to be asked soon. Lastly she saw her ex-boyfriends admiring look and she flashed him one of her signature smiles and giggled when he suddenly blinked like he didn't know what was going on.

Xander's heart skipped as he saw that smile break across Cordelia's face he couldn't believe he never bothered to see this side of his ex-girlfriend. It was his own fault really he surmised, she always came third in his list of women even when he was dating her. He just wanted the rights to say he was dating the most beautiful girl in school and then he went and ruined any chance he might have had to get to know her when he went lusting after Willow.

"Hey what's wrong?" Cordy asked as she saw the dark look cross Xander's features.

"Nothing, just memories," Xander answered surprised that he didn't catch her approach.

"Anya," assumed Cordelia.

"No, you actually," Xander said apologetically. Remembering the night that he probably gave Cordleia one of her own worst possible memories.

"Oh, I thought we were over that," Cordelia answered as a flash of hurt crossed her eyes and just as quickly disappeared as she remembered that night.

"I know it's just," Xander bumbled not knowing how to respond.

"Hey don't worry about years in the past I'm good," Cordelia interrupted before she followed Willow into the kitchen she was hungry and she wanted to talk to Willow as well so why not do both she figured.

Willow searched the fridge and pantries looking for something to eat not noticing that someone else had entered the kitchen as well.

"Hey Will whatcha looking for," piped Cordy as she entered the kitchen.

"Holy… sweet goddess don't do that," Willow jumped as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest.

"Sorry," Cordelia giggled as she wondered if that's how she looked when Angel snuck up on her. But it was fun to be able to do it to someone else and it was a lot of fun, she wondered if that is one of the reasons why Angel did it.

"It's ok…um do you think…um maybe we could …talk?" Willow asked nervously her trip into Cordelia's mind gave her more than a cracked skull and a sore back. It gave her few memories that weren't hers.

"Sure what about," Cordy answered nonchalantly as she pulled peanut butter out of the pantry determined to make herself a sandwich to shut her stomach up.

"About your memories that are stuck in my head," Willow said with a bravery that wasn't common to her nature but somehow it was so easy to talk to this Cordelia.

"Oh boy," Cordelia replied as she plopped herself down on a chair and waited to hear what memories Willow got stuck with. Hoping that she didn't get the night of the ballet.

"You can say that again me Willow Rosenberg witch extraordinaire with a side of Cordelia Chase half demon seer is wiggy even by our standards but at least the memories are fading," Willow smiled as she tried to get Cordy to lighten up a little at her confession.

"Yeah no kidding so what ya got of me," Cordy asked with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

"Well I got a bunch of 'em but they're all jumbled only got a couple I can make out. One is about clothes and a great happy feeling and the other is in a dark, dirty alley in the rain," Willow replied not really knowing what to expect.

A smile crept on Cordelia's face as she remembered the day Angel bought her the Versace fall line. "Well the clothes weren't the happy part of that memory don't get me wrong love the clothes it's just that was a peacemaker between me and Angel. The story is Angel went through a dark time so to speak did some things we're not to proud of and I was mad at him, no longer considered him my friend. So to break through Angel bought me clothes. It wasn't the clothes that did the job though it was the fact that Angel went shopping for me, he would rather go to hell then go shopping and that's saying something since he's actually been to hell but he did it for me," Cordelia said explaining that memory.

Willow was in awe as she asked about the next memory "and the alley?"

"That was where Connor was born you should of seen it Will the look on Angel's face he was so happy and so scared at the same time. Happy that he's a father that he gets something that thought he would never get and so scared about not knowing what to do," Cordelia explained leaving out the details about Holtz and Darla.

"Wow," was all Willow could say as she watched Cordy finish off her third sandwich and enter the lobby.

"Wesley," Buffy asked as she approached the ex-watcher who was standing near the doors that led to the garden.

"What is Buffy?" Answered the rogue demon hunter.

"I'm beginning to accept that Angel and Cordelia have some sort of relationship but I wanna know how deep it goes you guys make it sound like their married or something," Buffy replied hoping he would answer her question.

"As you know Angel is a vampire and as a vampire he's very possessive over certain things like women," Wesley started, as he looked at the slayer "he was possessive over you in Sunnydale and when you broke up and he moved here he transferred that to Cordelia, only it's grown to something more." Wesley sighed as he saw the confused look on the blondes face "In Sunnydale Angel had to force his demon to help you in a fight Buffy with Cordelia Angel has to hold his demon back from killing everything in sight until the danger is gone."

"Ok what else," Buffy said with a hint of jealousy.

"Did you know that Angel is rather chatty…no guess not," Wesley said as he saw Buffy's disbelieving look "well he is sure only Cordelia can get him to talk but when he does he doesn't shut up. I remember watching them sit out there in the garden and talk and laugh with each other from sunset to sunrise and when I asked about what they talked about neither one remembered they were happy to be together and talk. Cordelia knows Angel better then he knows himself sometimes," Wesley finished but knew he would have to tell more the slayer had a curious look in her eyes.

"Look over there on Cordy's desk you'll see three pictures one of Angel wearing the ring of amarra at sunset. She says one day that will come and she'll be there to watch. Another one is of her, Angel, and Connor. Angel and Connor are the two most important people in her life. The last one is the night she got Angel to take her down to the promenade she actually got him to have fun and let loose a little," Wesley continued hoping it would be enough. His hopes weren't answered.

"What else," Buffy asked again with a mischievous light in her eyes she was having fun making Wesley squirm.

"As you probably know Angel doesn't understand people all that well and Cordy is defiantly not of the normal variety. So Angel doesn't understand anything Cordelia does 90 percent of the time but he accepts her anyway and she loves him for it. But do you know why he accepts her, I do, I once asked him why he accepts Cordelia and puts up with her rants and fits. Do you know what he said, he said because she's Cordelia that was all he wanted, he doesn't care for her visions, he doesn't care about her fits he likes Cordy the way she is that's all he wants, its all he needs is just plain ol' Cordy," Wesley finished as he walked away from the slayer leaving her dumbfounded.

Unbeknownst to Wes and Buffy a certain seer overheard the entire conversation and her heart filled with love for a certain vampire. Cordelia knew Angel didn't understand everything she did but he let her do it anyway but she never knew why. The fact that Angel just wanted her around visions or no visions filled her with such warmth it scared her.

Cordelia approached the back garden where Buffy sat with her elbows propped on her knees and her chin in the palm of her hands. Cordy wasn't looking forward to the conversation but it had to be done sometime.

"Hey Buffy," Cordelia greeted as she sat down next to the slayer.

"Hi," the slayer replied.

"So," Cordy dolled not knowing how to start this conversation.

"Do you love him?" Buffy asked suddenly wanting to know the truth.

"What?" The seer questioned surprised.

"I'm not doing this to interfere Cordelia. I just need to know for me so I can truly move on, I know its selfish but I've always felt guilty that I would be able to move on and he couldn't. But now he has and I need to know if you love him in return," Buffy answered hoping the answer would be what she knew it was and it would be such a relief to unburden the guilt she never knew she had until Wesley and Willow jumped into her when she was being whiney and bitchy. She always thought she would never lose Angel and they would be together but the truth was she had moved on Angel was special to her yeah but it was the guilt that brought her back not the love.

"Yes Buffy I love him with everything that I am but why do you need to know?" Questioned Cordy answering Buffy but also asking a question of her own.

"I've come to a realization about mine and Angel's relationship. Everyone always thought we had the big forever love, hell I thought we had the big forever love but we didn't. Our love was a wildfire it burned fast and hard but the thing about those type of fires is they burn out," Buffy answered feeling a huge relief come of her shoulders now that she knew that Angel was loved.

"That's nice Buffy it really is but it's not like me and Angel can ever do anything about how we feel how about each other," Cordelia said bitterly as she thought about the curse.

"Oh, right the curse," Buffy sighed sadly. Her heart reaching out to the woman next to her.

"Isn't a problem," Wesley interrupted from the doorway. He overheard the last part of the conversation and decided to interrupt.

"WHAT!" screamed Buffy and Cordelia in unison surprise evident in their features?

"Look I'm not going to tell you the details that's for Angel to tell all I'm going to tell you is Angel hasn't told anybody yet so don't get that upset. I found out on my own from the upper management so to speak. Just know that Angel's soul is bound," Wesley finished as he disappeared back into the hotel to stop any questions that would have come up.

"That's great no more Angelus," squeaked an excited Buffy. She meant what she said she wasn't going to interfere she truly had moved on she was happy for Cordelia.

"Wrong," snapped an irritated Cordy. She was upset at Angel for not telling her but also upset at Buffy's assumption that Angel and Angelus are a different person.

"What to you mean?" Questioned Buffy an incredulous look glinted in her eyes.

"Angel and Angelus aren't different people Buffy. Angel is Angelus; Angelus is Angel the soul doesn't change who he is it just gives him a choice. He still has the urge to hunt, maim, kill, torture, and all the other vampire thoughts and desires but with the soul he can choose to ignore them which he does most of the time. The two different people is how you justified his actions to yourself Buffy, Angel just never bothered to correct you," Cordelia said explaining it just the way Angel explained it to her.

"I know," Buffy, replied as her shoulders slumped as she remembered back to when Angelus terrorized Sunnydale.

"Huh," Cordelia said dumbfounded.

"Spike told me. I'm a bit more open minded now; I just meant Angel couldn't lose his soul now except of course by the magic mojo thing. You'd have to ask Willow or Spike on details I quit paying attention during the lecture," Buffy replied explaining as best she could. Spike had told her that he couldn't lose his soul he had no curse but it could still be taken by magic. He said a soul isn't natural to a vampire's physiology so a simple soul removal spell could take his soul rather easily.

"Well then you know that I don't just love the soul or the demon that I love both equally, I love the demon for the fire and passion he brings and the soul for loving responsibility and trustworthiness," Cordelia said declaring her love for Angel in every sense of the word.

"Yes I know that just like I know that's the reason me and Angel would never work I was never able to accept his demon the way you do and I never will because of what he did to me without his soul. I know it's petty but it's also true. I never believed a demon was capable of love until I knew about Spikes so I never accepted Angel's demon side I always shied away from him when it was close." Buffy said explaining her take on her and Angel's relationship. Angel and Buffy's relationship is the only thing Cordelia didn't really know about because she was too afraid and jealous to ask.

"Huh," Cordelia muttered confused by Buffy's acceptance and openness.

"Look the reason Angelus did what he did was because he hated me. Angel's soul loved me but his demon hated me it considered me weak," Buffy explained with knowledge that Cordelia didn't know she had.

"But you're the slayer your like super girl or something," Cordelia replied with honesty.

"Not that kind of strength," Buffy chuckled as she continued, "Angel's demon considered me weak because I shied away every time it came to the surface. It's also the part of the reason Angel's demon loves you as much as his soul. A demon's love is different than a human's, a demon only loves those it considers its equals or betters. I don't know why I guess it's a dominance thing. The demon wants someone who doesn't back away someone who will not back down, someone who will go toe to toe with it even if it's dangerous. That's exactly what you do if what Wes told me is true," Buffy stated relieved to be getting all of her unreleased feelings and fears out in the open.

"Wow cool," Cordelia sighed understanding Angel more with this conversation with Buffy than any conversation she's ever had with him. Cordelia knew that her acceptance of Angel made him happy and unafraid to let his feelings go but she never knew that her challenge, her resolve to never back down from him even when he was all 'grry' and vampy would make him love her completely it gave her a surreal feeling when she thought about it.

"Isn't it but enough chat for now we have more important things to do," Buffy said in a surprisingly chipper voice as she bounded back into the hotel.

"Your right we do like right now I have get my stupid overprotective and currently loony vampire something to eat because if I've been out for three days then that means my vampire was being all growly and protective and didn't eat anything," Cordelia replied as she followed Buffy and heated Angel some blood before she disappeared upstairs.


	10. Coming Back

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_R to NC-17_

Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vacation (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: And thanks to Lea no matter how much she doesn't want it**

"Kinda possessive isn't she," Buffy said as Cordelia disappeared upstairs.

"Oh yeah I mean she's very jealous and possessive over Angel you should have seen it when she found out he slept with Darla she was so mad at him. She acted like he cheated on her but then Darla tried to kill Cordy and Angel was going to rip her apart but Cordy stopped him. She was worried about the baby you see. Then when she found out Angel was with the Furies she was jealous and upset in her own way, the weird thing is I don't know why, I mean Angel was with the Furies before Cordy's grandparents were even born. Oh and last week we were on a case and Angel had to take Cordy to a club, I mean he could've took me of course but I knew he would choose Cordy, he always does when he needs a female partner for a case, anyway as I was saying they were going through the club and the women were checking Angel out I mean he is a hottie and all as Cordy would say," Fred rambled as she answered Buffy's remark

"Hey," Gunn interrupted trying to sound insulted by his girlfriend's remark. He wasn't though, he knew Angel was a good-looking undead guy and he had that dark mysterious thing for him as well.

"Oh it's all right Gunn your good-looking too but as I was saying the women were checking out Angel and Cordy was shootin 'em all looks that said that's right girls he's all mine. Then later when the girls in the club wouldn't stop staring at him her look got all possessive and scary followed by the quit staring or die look," Fred finished out of breath as she blushed when she saw the looks she was getting.

"Oh I know that last one," Xander quipped having been a victim of many of Cordelia's glares.

"You do," questioned Gunn knowing that Cordelia's glares can be very frightening having been on the receiving end of a couple. He felt sorry for Angel since the vampire usually got at least one of Cordy's infamous glares at least once a day and he would apologise for anything even if he hadn't done anything wrong, it was quite funny really.

"Oh yeah that's the one where she strips your skin of one layer at a time it was kind of a thing we had going," Xander answered nonchalantly remembering the good old days at Sunnydale High.

"Yep the Xander and Cordelia we hate each other show," Buffy chimed in.

"Followed by the Xander and Cordelia grope fest in closets and then back to we hate each other," Willow finished remembering the awkward friendship Cordy and Xander had.

"Ahhmmmm I think that's enough of a history lesson for now," Giles got in as he polished his glasses.

"Yes it is and to answer your question Buffy, yes Cordelia is possessive over Angel has been for a long time and it's only gotten worse so to speak when she became part demon," Wesley interjected remembering what he heard of Cordy and Xander's relationship on his short stay in Sunnyhell.

"Isn't that a bad thing like being a stalker or something," Questioned Dawn confused to the conversation she had just witnessed.

"Depends on the situation Dawn being possessive over certain things is natural to a demons behavior. Angel is a vampire and vampires are very territorial over things they consider theirs and Cordelia belongs to Angel, so to speak, she is his seer. Angel also belongs to Cordelia as well since he is her champion we haven't figured out what type of demon Cordy is but we figure it is territorial as well because ever since her transformation she has been openly possessive over Angel. The weird thing is that Angel doesn't mind," Wesley said answering the teenager's question.

Cordelia approached Angel's room her nerves running rampant. Fear, love, confusion and an underlying rage were all mixed in at her champion's condition. As she entered the room she was surprised to see that Spike had untied Angel and had let him roam around the room.

"Spike what happened to tying him up," Cordelia questioned as she set the blood on the end table near the bed. She was happy that Angel wasn't shackled to the chair but she was still curious.

"Well he calmed down quite a bit since you left so I saw no reason to keep him tied up especially after whatever he's been through being free to move should help him," Spike answered knowing that being unable to run in the process of torture was one of the main reasons people broke because there was no escape.

"Oh, ok I want to be alone with him please," Cordelia, said

Spike eyed her nervously a thousand reasons why she shouldn't be left alone ran through his mind. Cordelia saw the uncertainty on his face; she walked over to him and touched him on the shoulder gently. The blonde vampire turned to her and he could see all her emotions run through those hazel orbs, yes there were a thousand reasons why he shouldn't leave her alone, but the look in her eyes was the reason he should.

"Ok but I will be just outside if you need me just call?" He told her sincerely she nodded in agreement and Spike knew that if anything happened to her and Angel came out of it Spike would be begging Angel to stake him that is if the rest of the members of Angel Investigation didn't get to him first.

Cordy stood their and watched him leave, she breathed deeply and turned to her vampire, she wiped away the tears that had managed to escape the confines of her eyes and walked over to Angel.

"Angel." She whispered and slowly took one step at a time trying not to scare him but as she got closer and closer he started to panic, his eyes were wide, he paced from side to side but there was no escape.

Cordelia was finally standing in front of him and she reached out a hand and laid a finger on his face, Angel's head flung back and he roared he raised his hand and without thinking, he was just protecting himself, he used his strength and hit her across the face. The brunette cried as she was flung across the room and slammed into the wall beside the door.

Angel's back hit the wall and he slid down it until he was in one corner mumbling to himself, shaking. "She's gone, she's gone, she's gone." He mumbled over and over again.

Spike opened the door and stared at her on the floor. Cordelia shook her head indicating that he should leave again.

"You know he doesn't deserve you cheerleader," Spike said refusing to leave just yet.

"Damn straight he doesn't," Cordy replied with a small smile.

"Huh," Spike huffed not expecting that answer.

"He doesn't deserve me Spike he earned me now leave," Cordelia brooked in blunt honesty and a no argument tone.

The blonde vampire was not happy about this but he left when she glared at him, it was her head she was risking. He closed the door but stood close by if anything happened like that again he was going to drag her out kicking and screaming.

Cordelia turned back to Angel and once again made a very slow trip across the room to the shaking and terrified vampire.

Angel closed his eyes as Cordelia picked herself up off the floor. He could no longer trust his eyes Cordelia was dead he killed her this was just another illusion. Angel let his senses drift refusing to believe this nightmare, refusing to open his eyes and see the woman he would kill again.

"Angel look at me, open your eyes please," pleaded Cordy as she knelt in front of the vampire and cupped his face in her hands.

Angel slowly opened his eyes to look at the pleading woman. He was just too tired to fight anymore this Cordelia was still alive he hadn't failed her, hadn't killed her yet so just maybe she was real.

Cordelia's heart sank into despair as she looked into the deep brown eyes of the vampire she loved. The liquid pools of chocolate that once showed so much emotion were dead the light she had gotten so used to seeing was gone, there was nothing there like Angel decided to go for a walk and leave his body behind.

Angel blinked as his senses caught a demonic smell radiate off the beautiful woman in front of him. He remembered his Cordelia was part demon and not completely human like the ones he failed or killed.

"Come on baby, come back to me I need you," Cordy said unaware of the endearment she unconsciously added as she saw a flicker of light shine in Angel's eyes before it faded again.

Angel's thoughts drifted unmercifully as the woman touching his face was too close, she smelled too familiar to the death's he had caused. Too weak and unable to control his vampire instincts Angel's demon came forth as he pounced on Cordelia tackling her to the floor as he straddled her hips and brought his face within centimeters of hers. Angel stared into the eyes of the woman beneath him his demonic amber eyes never blinking betraying no emotion as the cool hazel eyes stared back full of life and love no hint of fear or panic and only a trace of underlying rage and desperation.

Cordelia stared into the deep pools of amber trying to gage if there was any emotion in the heart wrenching lifeless eyes she had witnessed earlier. Cordelia unwilling to accept the fact that her vampire was gone did the only thing she could think of and reached up and dragged Angel's face down as she watched as his face completely changed into the demon, the face of her Angel was gone so were the brown eyes she loved so much and she was now staring into the yellow eyes of a vampire, but to her it was still Angel and then she kissed him ferociously oblivious to the cuts that the vampire's fangs were producing on the inside of her lips and tongue as her blood flowed freely between the connecting mouths. Cordelia willing the vampire to remember who he was, needing him to remember her deepened the kiss pouring all of her raging emotions into it as the vampire started viciously kissing back. The need came crashing through their bodies, their desperation, every memory, and every single piece of pain, everything they were in that kiss. They had nearly lost each other too many times before.

Angel growled deep with in his chest, he needed to control her, to own and possess her. She was his achilles heel and he hated feeling weak when it came to her, the demon raged inside but no matter what he couldn't let her go, he owned her, she was as much a part of him as the soul or the demon was. He hated this need but at the moment was too weak to fight against it as his soul was buried in the recesses of his mind and demon. Angel pushed against her hard his tongue sliding along her lips and then entering her mouth once again he needed to taste every inch of that cavern.

Cordy could feel her mouth being ravaged; it also seemed that his hands were everywhere. He was all over her it also felt as if he had entered her entire being through every cell in her body. A rumble came from her chest as he tried to take more control, _MINE_ her mind screamed as she managed to flip him onto his back and she assaulted his mouth, both of their senses were filled with each other, the coppery tang of blood were in their mouths as they both attacked each other, neither giving an inch.

Angel grabbed her hair and he managed to flip them again so he was on top, he was the one in charge the demon screamed. He placed his entire wait on her so she could barely move, his muscular frame held down her feminine one. Cordy dug her nails into his shoulders, he pulled his mouth away from hers and roared and with that one small movement Cordy was able to move her legs so they were wrapped around his waist and she grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him down for another kiss.

"Hey Wesley," Willow asked with a curious glint in her eyes.

""What is it Willow?" Answered Wesley warily he had answered enough questions already but more seemed to be flying at him no matter what he did.

"We, as in you know all of us, would like to you know um…. hear about…Cordelia's change in personality, if of course you don't mind that is," Willow rambled nervously.

"Really," Wesley replied amusement twinkling in his eyes. Some people really never change he thought to himself. They just didn't understand and he wasn't sure if he could help them some people no matter what you told them would still believe in what they used to know.

"Yes, well that is of course if you want," Giles remarked hoping his once colleague would answer the question.

"I will tell you about what I've witnessed and what Angel's told me but that's all I can give you," Wesley answered a little annoyed but understanding why they wanted to know. "The rest you would have to ask Angel and of course Cordelia herself."

"That's fine Wes we just don't want to make any assumptions when we finally get to talk to her without the dramatics we have right now," Buffy said as she plopped herself up on the lobby desk.

"Well from what I got from Angel was when Cordelia first started working here she was still Queen C, she wasn't quite as bitchy but she was still there in full force. An answer for everything shoes, clothes you know the usual." Wes told them with a laugh. " It wasn't until after their friend Doyle died that she started to truly change I wasn't here then but I know that incident made Cordelia start to open up to Angel. I say that because when I came into their lives they were close and when I questioned Cordelia about Angel on an incident that was happening around town that matched his Angelus days she was rather upset at me and was going to throw me out if Angel didn't stop her and straighten everything out. But her true change to the woman you've all glimpsed today started when she was hospitalized with non-stop visions. She saw and felt all the pain and horror in the world that is nothing that you or I, something even Angel cannot fully grasp. It was that day she let her walls around her heart crumble. I don't know if you've realized this yet or not but Queen C was just an act Cordelia played to protect herself and her heart. Only Angel really knows about her past, as he's the only one she's let in completely, she keeps everyone else out of that place. Angel doesn't realize it just yet but he is the only one that can utterly and truly hurt Cordelia. I know that doesn't explain all of her change but the rest comes from the visions, I told you the visions have changed her and its not because she gets the visions or that she feels all the pain and emotions in the visions its also because of the fact that she can remember every single vision she's ever gotten just like Angel can remember in detail every victim he's ever killed. It was because of that she realized she needed friends that she didn't want to be alone anymore." Wesley spieled remembering as he watched a spoiled girl turn into open and caring woman.

"You mean Queen C was just an act," Xander questioned.

"Yes, Xander it was just an act something happened to her in Sunnydale that caused her to close her heart to build up walls around her emotions. Angel tore those walls down just like Cordelia tore his down. We are lucky enough here to be close to her but we still don't see everything that Angel saw and it took a while for her to trust him again but she did. Her friendship and acceptance means more to him than anything; we forgave him but when she told him that they weren't friends that was all he could think about, when she was dragged into the other dimension he followed because he couldn't bare not to have her around. Back in Sunnydale, yes she did moan and complain but she put her life more on line than any of you did she was 'bait girl' as she called it. She trusted all of you to protect her when she was put into dangerous situations did you ever think of that? I don't know if you will understand who she truly is. Because Angel couldn't go outside in the sun she placed a lot of plastic flowers in the basement to show him what he's fighting for, when I, or anyone else has a problem she is the one we go to for advice. She may be brutally blunt at times but she does care and as long as her family is happy, as long as we are happy than that is what counts but if any of us are hurt or in pain she will lead the charge to make that person or that group of people pay. As Fred once said she is our heart and without her we die," Wesley answered remembering how close Cordelia and Angel really are.

As the Scoobies listened intently to Wesely's explanation their eyes widened in horror at what they put Cordelia through when they used her as bait they never considered the consequences of what might of happened to her if Buffy and the gang didn't get their in time to protect her and if anything had happened it would have been their fault but they had never looked at it that way, they only thought of her as a pain, someone that just got in the way.

Giles closed his eyes in shame when he thought of what Wesley said about Cordelia's stint with the Scoobies. He always put Buffy first in his thoughts that he never considered the danger he willingly put his other charges through, never thought of the danger that Cordelia willingly let herself be put into because no matter how much she moaned and bitched she trusted them to save her when the time came.

Giles and the Scoobies closed their eyes in contemplation and Wesley could of sworn he heard gears shifting in their heads as their view of Cordelia slowly changed as they remembered everything she did in Sunnydale instead of focusing on what she said and the way she acted.


	11. Sanity and Guilt

Hello all due to the contents of chapter 11 it cannot be posted here if you wish to read it you can go to under serial fiction or under forums then serial fiction. Or email at mordenajtruman.navy.mil and I will send you a copy

Runeknight


	12. Confessions

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_ NC-17_

Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vacation (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: And thanks to Lea no matter how much she doesn't want it**

"Remember that time when Xander had a thing for the science teacher," Buffy asked as she walked through the front doors of the Hyperion Hotel not noticing that Spike was sitting at the bottom of the stairs with a impish glint in his eyes.

"You mean the one that was a big bug," Willow laughed remembering that incident and Willow decided not to add the fact that it only attacked virgins.

"You had a thing for a bug," Gunn wheezed between his laughs he never thought that he would have so much fun with the 'Scoobies' but they were the only group that could laugh at the same stuff they did, most of it everyday people could not understand.

"Hey she didn't look like a bug and at least she had a real body Willow," Xander remarked as Willow's face turned 10 different shades of red.

"Ummm Willow what's that supposed to mean," Questioned Fred with a mischievous smile. The little Texan was enjoying this so much just like with her LA family she didn't feel weird or like a freak.

"I umm you know…kind of had this thing with ummm a demon that was trapped on the net," Willow answered meekly as all the blood in her body was now trapped on her face.

"That's what you get for trusting an online relationship Will," Xander rebuffed humorously. Willow smacked him on the arm and poked her tongue.

"Enough about us tell me how you met Angel," Buffy asked looking directly at Gunn it seemed all night they had talked about Sunnydale and weren't told much about the LA group.

"Who me oh I tried to dust his ass as you can tell it didn't work," Gunn said nonchalantly as a shadow danced across his eyes that didn't go unnoticed by the others. Wes and Fred went to his side, they did it for each other automatically trying to protect each other and give strength when needed. Gunn needed to change the conversation. "He would come by when he needed some expert help and when Wes here was blown up in the office and when Cordy." He once again stopped even hearing and then seeing her when she had the visions 24/7 but seeing what pain it caused her and then going back to having her live through that non stop.

"How about you Wesley when did you start working with Angel," Willow asked before anyone could make Gunn relive his past any more and ask about what had happened to Cordy?

"I was tracking a Kungai demon and came across Angel doing the same thing even though it turned out that the real umm bad guy was the empath demon that hired Angel. You see after he hired Angel to help him he found out Cordelia was a seer and kidnapped her and tried to sell her eyes it turns out he was an auctioneer of demon and supernatural parts and was going around killing other demons for his so called merchandise," Wes answered remembering happier times. Wes suddenly laughed and everyone looked at him. "One thing about her, she is correct, she does know how to stave." Everyone looked at him curiously. "Well from what I heard from people once everything had died down the betting was low and Cordy kept making things up, she started a bidding war and everything to give us time to get there, we were almost too late." Wes smiled remembering when Cordelia attacked Angel with affection after that incident even though he was still in vamp face.

"All right Wesley what's the smile for," Dawn asked catching his smirk after his little story.

"Nothing really I just think that was one of the turning points in Cordy and Angel's friendship," Wes answered happily.

"Really how so?" Questioned Dawn

"After we saved her she locked Angel in what I would call a vice grip hug and he was still in his vampire face," Wesley replied watching the realization come across the Scoobies faces and warm smiles on the AI gangs.

"Oh bollocks enough of the past lives all ready," Spike interrupted annoyed that no one had acknowledged him yet.

"What the hell deadboy aren't you supposed to be watching your grandpa," Xander snubbed.

"I can hear just fine from here," Spike smirked

"What exactly is that supposed to mean," Willow asked curiously.

"Nothing, Nothing at all," Spike replied the impish gleam returning to his eyes.

"Spike" Willow muttered her impatiences getting the better of her

"Red" The vampire said smugly.

"SPIKE!" This time the witch shouted at him.

"The bloody poof is fine all right if any one needs protection up there it's him," Spike huffed.

"What?" Questioned everybody

"They had happy time in the not so pleasant way," Spike answered his smile now matching the mischievous shine in his eyes.

"I don't get it," Fred said confused.

"They had sex brutal and carefree sex," Spike spat out jealously as he remembered the roaring and screaming and the smell of blood. Angel was lucky to have a woman who accepted everything about his nature and then initiated the brutal battle of dominance that took place earlier that night.

"You mean they made love," Buffy said knowing how Cordy and Angel felt about each other.

"No slayer there was no love involved in their foray," Spike answered watching the faces of everyone turn beet red.

"OK anyone up for a movie," Wesley sniped quickly changing the subject not wanting to hear details he knew Spike would give out given half a chance.

Cordelia groggily blinked away the sleep in her eyes and the pleasurable pain she had in places she didn't know existed on her own body. Damn vampire is good even when he's not all there she thought to her self guiltily remembering the events that took place earlier that night as she saw the cool brown eyes of the aforesaid vampire staring down into hers with love and confusion.

"Hey," Angel said staring down into the bright hazel eyes that were still blinking as if remembering a dream only to find out it was real.

"Hey," Cordelia replied shyly knowing her dreaded talk was coming soon.

"So umm," Angel quipped in his usual dorkiness wondering how to start the talk that was desperately needed between the two of them. He figured it might be easier now that the tension he had around her was now diminished for reasons he couldn't quite figure out yet.

"Our talk huh, didn't take you to be a conversationalist Mr. Leave-me-in-my-corner-so-I-can-brood," Cordelia snarked while she put on her brave face.

"Well I have gotten better you know," Angel smiled as he shifted to sit up in bed not ready to get up and leave the comfortable warmth he had.

"Yes, you have so first things first your curse," Cordelia said wanting to leave the events of their night together until last, "I know your soul is now permanent so I want to know how and why didn't you tell me."

"Ummm it was when Connor was born," Angel started a smile creeping across his face "when Connor was born that was the happiest moment I've ever had. I felt the tug and pain of my soul leaving my body at that moment but something was different instead of being cold I suddenly started to feel warm. It was like someone went inside of my body and grabbed my soul and put it back with chains connected to it to keep it from ever leaving again. Ever since that night I've felt different more at peace I no longer feel the hole where my soul and demon were separated. I didn't tell anybody about because at first I was afraid it wasn't true and after that I just sorta forgot." He finished sheepishly and shrugging his shoulders

"Forgot, you forgot how the hell do you forget something like that?" Cordelia seethed at his excuse her hazel eyes on fire more with annoyance than anger.

"It never came up and the only person I would like to test it on always showed indifference anytime I attempted to make a move," Angel answered remembering how every time he tried to tell Cordy how he felt she would change the subject, turn his meaning into something else or jump into the arms of another man.

Cordelia made a slight gasp as she realized that Angel was talking about her. She remembered all the time he would turn into a stuttering idiot at times and just now came to the conclusion that he was trying to ask her out to be in a relationship. Instead of letting him finish she would always change the subject never realizing that he was only that way when he was trying to express his feeling to her, to open up and let her in and she always blew him off.

"I have a question for you Cordy," Angel asked when she just stared at him.

"Go ahead ask away," she replied coming out of her daze.

"How did you know where Connor was when Holtz tried to take him into another dimension and why were you here anyways I thought you were on vacation with what's his name," Angel said not wanting to say the other guys name.

"Ummm yeah about that I never went on vacation with Groo. I umm sorta gave him the money you gave me and sent him out of town," Cordy answered.

"Huh…What…Why?" Angel stuttered curiously.

"I had an epiphany in a way. I figured out Groo wasn't what I was looking for. He was a big hunk of man meat that's for sure but he was nothing more than a big puppy dog that did anything and everything I wanted him to do. That used to be how I liked my men but that's not me anymore I want someone who is smart and won't do anything and everything I ask. Basically I found out that I want my men to fight back, to not give in to my every whim. When it gets down to it I want you. Which reminds me; don't let me forget to return that potion. Oh and about Connor I was at home had a vision then I saved the day," Cordy replied in true Cordy fashion.

"Potion huh…you mean," Angel stammered confused.

"Yep, no comshuck for me well until last night anyways," Cordelia smiled.

"So um about us," Angel asked remembering what Cordelia said last night about what she wanted to talk about.

"First things first about these marks on my neck," Cordelia said fingering the two puncture wounds on her neck.

"That kind of involves us Cordy," Angel replied shame and guilt rolling in waves across his features.

"Well I guess we'll have a two for one then," Cordy answered trying to lighten up Mr. Broody's demeanor.

"The bite is a claiming bite which by itself means nothing but since it happened during sex and you bit me back it means you accepted the claim and that your mine," Angel said breaking it down into its simplest form.

"So I guess that means there's an us then huh," Cordy replied easily her voice betraying the heat in her eyes.

"Well yes but there's more to it than that we're bonded. Basically you will be able to feel me out whenever you want. We're also emotionally connected you will be able to feel what I'm feeling and vice versa. Don't worry its not as bad as its sounds it's easily controlled," Angel said catching the glint that flared in Cordelia's hazel eyes and the hitch in her breathing.

"Well that's not so bad then I always seem to know where you're at and what you're feeling anyway," Cordelia quipped making light of the weird bond she and Angel have had for a long time.

"Oh and before you get any ideas your little vampire bond works both ways because your mine, you try and say otherwise and I'm pulling out the dustbuster." Cordelia said as she got out of Angel's large bed.

"Where are you going," questioned Angel as he watched the beautiful woman get out of his bed and start rummaging through his closet and drawers.

"I'm going to take a shower and get dressed and you should do the same. Afterwards we'll talk about last night," Cordelia replied disappearing into the bathroom.

As Cordelia stepped into the warm running water letting the purifying waterfall temporarily wash away the filthy feeling she had from her actions last night. Cordelia steeled herself as her emotions battled against the wall she had built when she woke up in the arms of the vampire she loved, in the arms of the vampire that she committed the greatest crime against in her mind. Cordelia knew that Angel would forgive her actions it was just part of who he was but she didn't know if she could ever forgive herself for forsaking her best friend and taking what she wanted instead of being the friend that he needed.

Angel sat silently at the edge of his bed listening intently to the brunette in the bathroom. The shower was turned off now and she still hadn't exited and he was starting to get worried. There were no sounds coming from behind the door at all if it wasn't for the steady thump of her heartbeat he would of thought she was dead.

Cordelia sat on the closed lid of the toilet in silent contemplation as she repeatedly beat herself up over her actions the previous night. Cordy was trying to build up her walls so she could confront Angel but every time she tried they crumbled faster then she could build them until she came to the conclusion that when it came to Angel her heart would not allow her to bury her emotions. Still repeatedly beating herself up and trying to confront the vampire in the other room Cordelia was completely oblivious to the fact that tears were flowing down her face as sobs racked her body.

Angel heard the sobs coming from the bathroom and approached the door and knocked waiting for the lovely brunette on the other side to answer when she didn't he slowly opened the door hoping she was in a decent state of dress.

"Cordy," Angel asked as he saw the brunette sitting on the toilet wearing his robe with tears running down her lovely face.

"Oh god, Angel I'm so sorry," Cordelia cried as she latched on to Angel like he was her lifeline.

"Shh… I got you Cordy it's ok I got you," Angel replied slowly sinking to his knees as the crying girl slid down his body wrapping her arms around his knees.

"No its not ok Angel…I used you… I took from," Cordelia said as sobs continued to rack her body.

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked completely forgetting about the events of the previous night as he worried about his best friend and woman he loved.

"Last night I used you for my own selfish desires when you were in no condition to stop me…I…I took advantage of you," Cordelia rasped, as her voice became horse.

"Cordelia look at me," Angel calmly asked as he wiped the tears off her face, "you need to forgive yourself I already have."

"I can't you needed me and I…I," Cordelia started as tears and sobs overtook her again.

"Dammit Cordelia get over it," Angel said his soft voice betraying his words as he used one of Cordelia's catch phrases.

Cordelia blinked her tears away as she stared into the cool chocolate eyes, just above the nose, which was above the lips that just spoke those exasperated words in a calm and loving tone.

"Yes, Cordy I said get over it," Angel explained, "I forgive you. I'm not saying what you did was right but it wasn't wrong either because if I was coherent I wouldn't of stopped you so get over it, I love you and your actions last night won't change how I feel."

Cordelia was still staring blankly into the deep brown eyes that held nothing but love and admiration as the strong body that was supporting her got up and quietly left the room.


	13. Talks

**Title: _Soldiers of Destiny_  
Author: **_runeknight_**  
Rating: **_PG-13_

**Email: **_mordenajtruman.navy.mil_**  
Category: C/A**

**Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS**

**Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7  
Summary: **Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.  
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!  
Feedback: Yes please!**

**A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.**

**A/N: Thanks to Lea for the help**

Angel watched as Cordelia entered the bedroom her hazel eyes puffy and red rimmed from her bout of crying. His heart ached for her, he wanted to take away the pain but knew that was one thing he would never be able to do.

"Angel…how…why?" Cordelia asked questioning his earlier actions.

"Cordelia listen to me," Angel said a smile crossing his face "when you fall down you have no other option but to get back up. You can't stay down and watch life go on around you as though you're not part of it all, you can't always feel sorry for yourself. You can't hide and hope everything will go away because it won't. It doesn't work that way. The trick is to keep hold of the people that help you up, dust you off and get you on your way. Those are the ones that matter. Without those people what would life be? Ash, bones and pain with no hope for the day ahead! So you hold on to them with everything you have, let no one take them away. Love them, cherish them and take things one day at a time."

"Huh," Cordelia mumbled.

"You taught me that Cordy…you taught me not to let my past actions influence my future choices, you taught me to hold onto the people I love instead of pushing them away. I think it's time you listen to your own teachings and quit letting you past actions ruin your life. I know you feel guilty about what you did but that doesn't mean it should consume your thoughts and actions. I was the victim and since that means it's my choice to place forgiveness or not. I chose to forgive you so now its time for you to move on," Angel solemnly dolled as he stared into Cordelia's hazel eyes with love and joy.

"Wow…since when did you get all wise and knowing," Cordelia replied her normal demeanor returning slowly as she let Angel's loving words wash over her.

"I've always been wise Cordy…it's just nobody ever listens to me," Angel answered with an amusing smirk.

"That's not true I listen and then ignore," Cordy said a mischievous smile on her face.

"Uh huh." Angel smile grew a little bigger, she was slowly coming back to him the Cordy he loved, the one that drove him insane and he wouldn't change one single thing about her. She was his sun, the bright spark in his endless night.

"Hey don't you uh huh me Mr. Never-listen-to-a-word-anybody-says," Cordelia smirked as she hit her vampire on the arm.

"Owww…so you feeling better now," Angel asked amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Much better thank you," Cordy answered with a smile. She saw the amusement dancing in Angel's eyes but since she knew him as well as she did she could also see the pain and horror in the background the remnants of the torture he endured for her. "Are you ok?"

"I'm o…I've been better," Angel changed what he was going to say as he saw the disbelieving look on Cordy's face.

"So do you think your ready to face the firing squad downstairs," Cordelia said her smile never wavering.

"Ummm I…. Uh," Angel started backing away from the door and getting fidgety.

Cordelia quickly crossed the room and took Angel's battle worn hands in her petite feminine ones, "I'll be with you the entire time well after I get dressed anyway and we'll deal with this together just like always."

"Ok," Angel replied meekly his manner skittish and unsure, but he did feel stronger knowing that she was going to be by his side.

Cordelia dragged Angel towards the hotel lobby stopping at the balcony at the top of the stairs as they watched the scene play out in front of them.

Buffy and Willow were sitting at the bottom of the steps both mesmerized by the little baby that walking unsteadily between them and Fred.

"Look at him Will he's so cute," Buffy smiled as she saw the toothy smile Connor beamed when he looked at her.

"Well of course he is Buffy have you seen his father he makes me doubt my decision to be gay," Willow laughed.

"Yeah Angel is a hottie," Buffy replied.

"A hottie, have you seen him lately Buffy he has a face that makes men consider changing their sexualities and a body that was designed to make women drop their jaws and produce excessive amounts of unnecessary saliva…what do you think a hottie?" Willow said severely doubting her choice to be a lesbian as she talked about Angel.

"WILLOW," Buffy screeched embarrassed by her friends outburst.

"Huh oh did I say that out loud," Willow remarked her face turning red matching her hair color.

"Cordelia is a very lucky woman," Buffy answered knowing that with those words she truly has let Angel go.

Cordelia listened to the conversation below her and realized how lucky she was. To have a man who loved her so unbelievably much with a body that possessed enough strength to catch her if she ever fell, she amended that thought he did catch her when she fell, when she had a vision she could still feel his arms around her, rocking her, soothing her. His deep voice whispering words of help and encouragement in her ear. A body that made women glare at her when she walked down the street with him, arms linked together, laying her claim. A body that made her own hum with desire for him, made the ardor beat through her body as quickly as the blood flowed through it. She gulped hastily as immense arousal flooded her. She wanted him. She wanted him now. She wanted to tell him that she wanted him now. But all she could manage was _Wow._

Angel could smell the arousal coming from the beautiful brunette next to him and as much as he would like to satisfy that need he had guests he needed to talk to.

"I…I need to talk to Buffy," Angel said shakily almost as if he were asking permission.

At Angel's admission Cordy was snapped out of her haze. When Angel didn't move she figured he was still hesitant and frightened so she slowly tugged him toward the stairs knowing he would follow.

Buffy and Willow moved from their position on the stairs as they heard the rustling behind them. When they turned and looked up the stairs they saw a radiant and very happy Cordelia slowly guiding a very nervous and insecure Angel.

Buffy's blue eyes connected with Cordelia's hazel ones and what she saw was the exact opposite of her body's appearance. Cordelia's eyes danced with conflicting emotions Love and joy were dominant but Buffy could se the underlying and potentially overwhelming fear in them as well. Buffy could tell that the fear wasn't for her but for Angel fear that Angel might not recover from whatever was done to him.

Angel squeezed Cordelia's hand when they reached the bottom of the stairs. As she looked into his eyes a silent conversation passed between the two before Angel pulled his hand loose and made his way to the garden sitting in the shadows.

"Cordelia," Buffy asked worried her eyes bouncing between the brunette standing in front of her and the vampire sitting outside in the shadows.

"Go…talk to him," Cordelia said never taking her eyes off Angel.

Buffy made her way out to the garden where she went and sat next to Angel the fluttery feeling she usually got when he was around no longer present. "So what's up?"

"Buffy I'm…I'm sorry," Angel said.

"For what," Buffy asked confused.

"Earlier…I was out of line I'm sorry," Angel answered earnestly.

"It's ok Angel you were scared and angry you had every right to put me in my place I was being selfish," Buffy honestly replied her eyes shining with life.

"But I…I never yell out my emotions and feelings like that..I…I…are we good," Angel stuttered still a little shaky but gaining his usual confidence.

"Angel as I said you were scared for your friend I know what that means so yes we're good," Buffy answered meaning every word.

"I'm glad…it's just I can't lose her Buffy she's too important to me," Angel said glad to have someone other than Cordy to talk to. He would talk to Fred but he has trouble understanding her babble half the time.

"She's important to everyone here Angel…I saw that earlier Cordy is a very important member of your family but I understand what you mean," Buffy replied showing her uncommon wisdom.

Angel looked curiously at the blonde next to him. "When did you become so smart?"

"Buffy wisdom is few and far between don't get used to it," Buffy smiled.

"Oh good, it took me forever to understand Cordyism's I don't think I could handle Buffy wisdom as well," Angel chuckled gracing Buffy with one of his rare smiles.

Buffy's heart fluttered at the smile she saw grace Angel's face. She never knew he had such a sexy smile, she was also a little sad that she never bothered to get to know the real Angel so she could have seen the smile before now. Because of this Buffy asked, "Alright Angel doesn't smile so who are you and what have you done with Angel."

"Have you looked under the carpet I know that's where Cordy likes to sweep the dust," Angel joked.

"…."

"Well I thought it was funny," Angel quipped.

"…."

"So when you guys leaving," Angel asked at Buffy's continued silence.

"Tonight but um…Willow won't be coming back with us," Buffy answered sadness etched in her voice.

"Why?" Angel questioned.

"She needs to get out of Sunnydale for a while…she's getting the looks you got when you came back from hell and she is having trouble handling it," Buffy said guilt mounted in her throat.

"I understand so where is she going to stay," Angel asked knowing the answer.

"Umm here she was planning on talking to you but umm stuff happened," Buffy answered nervously.

"That's ok she can stay here for as long she needs to," Angel said as he stood up and went back into the hotel to find the red head.

The rest of the day passed in an eerie calm. Angel had talked with Willow telling her that she could stay as long as she needed.

The Scoobies and the fang gang reminisced and laughed until it was time for them to leave.

"So you guys will all be ok," Buffy asked her question mostly directed at Willow. She was the only one of the Scoobies still here wanting to be the last to leave.

"We'll be fine Buffy and I promise to call…now shoo," Willow answered pushing Buffy out the door.

The silence that flooded the room was deafening as the Scoobies left. Willow disappeared soon after to her new room wanting to be alone for a while. When Fred tried to follow she was stopped by the cool calloused hand of Angel who knew better than any of them that right now Willow needed to be alone for a while before she should be forced back into the world.

After watching the newest member of their team disappear upstairs Fred turned and looked into the eyes of her hero. It was true that she was over her crush but Angel was and always will be her hero for saving her from Pylea. What she saw in the depths of his eyes scared her. Angel the one she thought of as somewhat invincible was hurting and was unable to hide it behind the mask he was so good at placing over his emotions.

Wesley, Gunn and Cordelia crossed the room and silently in their own family way put comforting hand on Angel's shoulders. They saw the fear in Fred's eyes when she looked at the vampire.

Angel knowing that they meant well and not wanting to hurt anyone silently shrugged them off as he glided across the floor and out into the garden. It was still daylight outside so he had to stay under the balcony in the shade. The warmth the sun created even in the shade did nothing to warm him up or take away the pain that still resided in his body.

Cordelia at the look of her family followed him outside.

"Are sure its ok for her to follow him Wes," Fred asked worried that Angel might do something he would regret.

"Positive Fred right now she's the only one he needs, he needs her around him to let him know she's alive and he's not in another nightmare," Wes incited.

Fred just nodded understanding crossing her features.

"You ok big guy," Cordelia asked as she sat next to Angel.

"You know in the two years I've lived at this hotel I've never sat out here under the balcony to watch the sunset," Angel said as he felt her presence beside him.

"How about we sit here and watch it together," Cordelia replied as she nestled her head onto his shoulder content to just sit here with the man she loves.

Angel just sat there and shifted his body so Cordelia could get comfortable. For the first time in a long time he was content. Angel sat toward the corner in the shadows as he watched the sun go down beyond the horizon.

Two men, a woman, a baby and a green demon watched as the two most important people of their family found a semblance of peace in their hectic lives.

"Angel Investigations we help the helpless," Fred answered the infernal ringing that interrupted the peaceful show.

As Fred took the information the smile never left her face her hero's had found one another and nothing could spoil her mood. She looked down at the notes that she had taken from their client, not even demon dogs that speak three languages.

END


End file.
